Garden of Eden People

A couple of weeks ago news came to Andrea and I that was devastating. A key leader in a youth ministry program out of Missouri that we have always greatly respected and been involved with was charged with inappropriate actions with minors. We had known he had resigned his position last spring but had not known the reason for his exit till we received this news. It really hit both of us hard and it really perplexed me as to why this was having such an effect. This was not my first experience with someone making a horribly bad and sinful choice but for some reason this one seemed to have a greater impact. Andrea and I talked through this attempting to process the news. Being the therapist, I usually depend upon her to help me work through these type of events. She was little help as she was stuck in the same processing quagmire.

I knew that this was probably more painful as I had not seen this one coming. I had great respect for this guy and had been very impressed with his relating and communicating skills. Caleb and I had attended a Father/Son Retreat in Colorado during the month of September 2007 which had been led by this guy. He was good....apparently he used this "good" trait to lure many families and then their sons under the age of fifteen to abusive immorality. What added to this was the fact that he had used the cover of faith to do this. On top of all of this was the realization that the young boys that he abused were the ages of some of my children. It was tough to work through.

As I continued to work on this I also was working on my message for the coming Sunday which was on the story of Noah. Noah had already caused me many practical type questions but as I looked at it in the light of this new present day revelation something hit me. When God made the choice to destroy most of His creation He was not destroying evil. Evil is, and will always be, with us this side of the eternity. Even though God destroyed the humans that were making bad and evil choices, and that had truly turned their backs on God, evil was not destroyed. Evil was invited in the world in the garden and cannot be removed without Christ. Humans cannot remove evil. We see this proven as it was not long until Noah and his family had come out of the ark that evil once again reveals itself. A son of Noah quickly revealed that sin had been on the ark all along.

I was also preparing the message for the next week about this same time where we were looking at the Tower of Babel. The people were making a tower to "make a name for themselves". The people were getting along and were attempting to build a Utopia.....basically they were striving to recreate the Garden of Eden minus God. That is our world, constantly trying to recreate Eden but without God, the problem is that we are out of the Garden, out of Eden. It is essential that we are aware that we live in a world of sin. On top of that it is even more essential to understand that the reason we are out of the Garden is that we had decided that we could live without God.....being put out of the Garden was God's graceful way of showing us our need for Him.

Even Christians are constantly hoping and searching for a recreated Eden. We want to change our world to be and behave as God meant. We spend more time attempting to change the behavior of the world to match what we assume is most similar to the Garden. The reality is that the only hope we ever have is to have changed hearts. It is only through Christ that we will ever experience even a hint of the Garden this side of eternity and this can only happen when hearts are changed. We cannot change the world by simply focusing on the behavior of the world. Sadly, the church has a reputation of focusing on the actions of those outside of the church much more than a focus on changing the hearts of those in the church.

How does this apply to our situation with the young man accused of horrific actions with minors? I think the shock was that we had decided that he, and others like him, are our hope for Garden of Eden People this side of eternity. I am afraid this may be why some parents were much too trusting with their minor children with this man. I think we all do this, attempt to find Garden of Eden People. People who will not let us down or ever make mistakes. We do this we faith leaders, with politicians, with celebrities, even with our friends. We also do this with institutions like churches, schools, governments, and other organizations. Then, when they do reveal their Non-GardenofEdeness (my own created word) then we are devastated and sometime we want to give up on it all or we refuse to accept and deal with it. While, if we were to have a more honest assessment and guarded approach we would not be caught off guard so easily.

We want a Garden where we can let our guard down, we want to be able to not have to be cautious. The truth is that such a place does not exist. Even in the garden Adam and Eve should have had their guard up, they should have been thinking and not let someone else think for them. God had given them the ability to think and choose but they handed someone else that responsibility. Then they attempted to hand someone else the blame.

We cannot afford to do either.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Locked Out

Recently we had a pastor, in a nearby town, brutally slain on the stage, near the pulpit, of her church. She was stabbed at least five times, her body left naked and possibly in a crucifix position. The killer had also brought some chemicals which were sprayed around the body to remove any DNA evidence of the killer. The killing seems to be very calculated, vicious, and possibly a blatant message.

Our church is out on the edge of town surrounded by cow pastures and wheat fields. Until a year or so ago I had always left the doors locked when I was there alone, recently, however, I had begun to leave the front door unlocked. Following the recent murder my Dad has become increasingly concerned about my safety at the building. He gave me an ultimatum that I would either start locking the doors or he was going to come out and sit whenever I am out there.

I imagine that there are not many, almost fifty year old pastors, who have to be chaperoned by their Dad at the church building. That actually gives me a great sermon title......anyway, I chose to start locking the doors.

Yesterday, as I was out at the building, with the doors locked, I remembered something outside that needed to be addressed. I chose to exit the building out the side of the building instead of the front and as I left the door automatically locked. I then went to the front of the building where I remembered that I had obediently, and wisely, locked the front doors. I then also realized that I had placed my keys next to a notebook so that I would not forget to take the notebook home...the notebook that was on the floor of my office....my office inside the locked building....the building that I was now locked out of. I began to evaluate the situation. Andrea was with consecutive clients for the next four hours, my parents were in transit with the kids to various practices for the next half hour. I realized that I was destined to now sit outside on the steps of the church for at least another hour.

As I sat there I could not help but think of the irony of attempting to lock myself inside the church to be safe but instead ending up locking myself out of the church. I wondered, and still wonder, how often do we protect and isolate ourselves in the church to such an extent that we actually miss out on what the church is all about.

“When we read the Bible but are not able to read the world,

we risk reducing the gospel to either a weapon or a toy."
Bryan Stone, Faith and Film

I wonder if this is because we have locked ourselves in the church and not met the world and therefore have missed out on the purpose and power of the church.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Survival

We made it through our first day of school. Three schools, four once Andrea starts teaching at OU next week, and six drop offs! Today was an extra challenge as Andrea was on her own since it was my day to serve as the WatchDOG at Monroe. However, we did survive.

What was really a challenge today was starting Caleb in High School. He did great, mom and dad had a much tougher time.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Women

I mentioned Wade Burleson's message last week in my Friday blog. It was the phenomenal message concerning the discrimination toward women, especially in the SBC. It is now posted and available to watch, you have to get through all the program that preceded him and the video takes a while to load but it is worth it. Wade is the final speaker so it takes a while.

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1945235

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Surprise

Yesterday, daughter Lily turned eleven years old. Tonight she chose to have a party, not with her friends, but for her family. She wanted to take her siblings, plus mommy and daddy, out for a night of fun. She asked us a couple of days ago if we could spend the birthday party money on a family night out instead of a party with friends. She got on the internet and found the place that would be fun and a good deal for daddy's billfold. We found out late that she chose tonight because the place she decided to take us, Andy Alligators, had two for one games on Wednesday nights. She also wanted it to be a surprise for her siblings so we were not allowed to tell them all day, something that about drove them crazy. I had many opportunities to make some extra cash as bribes were offered. Then, tonight as we loaded up the car, she pulled me aside and requested that I take a weird route to get there so they would not be able to figure it all out. They didn't and were very surprised and excited, Lily was thrilled. It was a fun surprise that the birthday girl gave to her family. It was possibly the nicest and most surprising surprise party I have ever attended.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Happy Birthday!

Today is daughter Lily's birthday. She has been a joy and a delight for her entire eleven years. Happy Birthday Lily!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Progress

Today I attended the sessions of Midwest Regional Meeting of the New Baptist Covenant again. This afternoon we heard from former President Jimmy Carter in addition to our Governor Brad Henry along with his home pastor. All were very good. President Carter was inspirational to hear. Tonight we heard from Wade Burleson, the pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Enid. I have known Wade for sometime as he is the son of Paul Burleson who was my pastor when I was on staff at Trinity Baptist here in Norman. Wade did a fantastic job, one which is going to get him in more hot water with most of his fellow Southern Baptist. Wade is no stranger to criticism and attacks from Southern Baptists as he has been challenging the status quo for some time. Challenges that have been needed and he is the right person for the job.

Tonight his challenge was the treatment of women, especially in Southern Baptist life. It was everything that I have felt for a long time, only he was able to articulate it in a masterful way. Being at Grace Fellowship I sometimes forget that the backwards thinking towards women still exists. The only person we have ever ordained at Grace Fellowship was a woman. Women are an equal part of our leadership team and until this past weekend half of our pastoral team was female. But, Andrea and I have long been troubled by the attitude toward women in the Southern Baptist Convention. We have heard about the discriminatory attitudes and practices toward women, especially at the SBC seminaries, and been horrified. Having daughters has made me even more sensitive to the subject.

Wade said that he recently did an NPR interview where he told of his thoughts toward the future of women in the SBC. Later, Richard Land, said that Wade was dreaming. Wade said that he had decided that he was indeed dreaming; "I have a dream..." he began. He related the treatment of women in the present to the unaddressed maltreatment of slaves in the early history of our country.

Here is to hoping that dreams do come true!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Updates

Today and tomorrow I am attending the Midwest Regional Meeting of the New Baptist Covenant. I have not been to any type of Baptist meeting in a long time, so far it is going o.k. There are a lot more suits and ties than I am used to seeing. Me and all the under thirty year olds (the ones that could conceivably be my children) are just wearing slacks and appropriate shirts. Tomorrow, President Jimmy Carter is speaking which should be interesting.

Toady's session dealt primarily with the issue of race. J.C. Watts spoke and the documentary "Beneath the Skin: Baptist and Racism" was shown. While the both were very good I was really struck when, during the documentary, Henlee Barnett was acclaimed for his work with race relations. He had brought Martin Luther King Jr. to speak at Southern Seminary during the Civil Rights Movement among other things. Later, Dr. Barnett was a victim of the ugliness of the Fundamentalist Takeover of the Southern Baptist Convention during the Eighties and Nineties. In 1984, around Christmas time, I spent the night at the home of Henlee Barnett, who was then an ethics professor at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. I was, and am, a friend of his son Jim and had traveled there for a visit. At the time I knew nothing about Dr. Barnett and had no appreciation for who he was. All I knew was that he, and his wife, were very nice and hospitable to me during me visit. Later, his mother called me angelic...I had not been called that before or since. It was a thrill to learn of the significance of Dr. Barnett in the struggle for racial reconciliation in this country.

Midway through the afternoon conference (around 3:00pm I have to mention as it is significant) Andrea texted me that I needed to check Isaiah's (our youngest son) update on Facebook. I did and found that it said: Dad at work, mom and sister in the city, Caleb in bed. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not sure that all updates are needed.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Goodbye

Tonight we had our official farewell for Andrew and Jaimie Mercer. In the fall of 2002 I received a letter and a resume from Jaimie shortly after our then Senior Pastor had suffered a major heart attack. I was sitting in my office one day, trying to figure out how to do two jobs (mine and the Pastor's while he was out) when I remember the resume. I contacted Jaimie and explained our situation and the fact that we would not be able to pay but that we had plenty of ministry opportunities with children, which was her calling. I didn't really expect to ever see her but that Sunday there sat two young, very young, adults. They never left. They both soon were putting in major volunteer hours, eventually we actually gave her the position of children's minister, still no pay. Finally, a couple of years ago we were able to put her on part time payroll. Having Jaimie as an employee meant having equal hours invested by Andrew. A couple of years ago we had the privilege of ordaining her causing her to be our official children's pastor.

Jaimie and Andrew have not only become a part of our church family but have also captured the hearts of my family. We have watched them have their first child, Andrew receive his doctorate, and all of them reveal their giving hearts. They have been a joy. So, tonight was hard to see them go but we feel confident that they are following God's leadership. Thanks Mercers!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Playing Pharaoh

Tonight I played the part of Pharaoh, yes the mean old guy who kept telling Moses and the Israelites "No". This was the second night of VBS where our story looks at Moses all week. Last night we saw the burning bush, a project tht kept me up til 3:00am before....not that it helped as it didn't work quite as well at the church building. Today we looked at the Plagues, the first nine, we are hitting Passover tomorrow night. Last night when I asked the kids what they already knew about Moses and my youngest, Isaiah, shouted out "Crossover". I couldn't think of what he meant so when I asked him about it he loudly said, "You're the pastor, you should know!" Later I figured out he meant to say Passover.

This is the last week for our Children's Pastor, Jaimie Mercer, so I think she is totally unconcerned about what she does to me. Jaimie's husband is joining the staff of the Mississippi State University in the fall......by the way, we all now officially hate Mississippi, it does not matter it is the coolest word my children have learned to spell, we still hate them. Her last day with us is this Sunday and she, and her husband Andrew, will be missed more than any of us can imagine.

So, with no fear in her heart, Jaimie assigned me the part of Pharaoh. I was Pharaoh, I went through the first nine plagues suffering the abuse of the VBS kids. I was pelted with hail stones, attacked by gnats and flies, I had to smell the dead fish due to the river being changed to blood, I had locusts all over me as well as blisters and boils, all my livestock died, and I ended up in total darkness. With each group I met with it seemed that their aggressive plagues seem to get rougher, the younger the group's age, the more the plagues began to sting. It was a tough evening to be the man in power.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Great Parenting/Great Relating

Today we returned from a fantastic week at Student Life For Kids camp at Austin College in Sherman, Texas to a bubbling controversy on the fourth grade football front. Isaiah, and even Lily one year, has had the same two football coaches over the years that he has played since first grade. Coach David and Coach Matt have been wonderfully teaching and affirming coaches all these years. I really doubt that Isaiah would have any desire to play if it were not for these two men. They are both very passionate, Coach Dave was kicked out of one game this year for yelling at the refs. They jump up and down, scream, and still constantly encourage and teach the boys (and Lily). Every year we find out if they are coaching again before we choose to sign up for the next season.

The season that begins this fall is a bit of a transition year. The boys in the fourth grade have the opportunity to choose if they want to play one last year of flag or if they want to go ahead and begin tackle. Coach David had told us at the end of last season that he was leaving it up to his son as to which league he would be coaching this season (Coach Matt is David's brother-in-law and only has an infant son but has coached with David every year).

This week Coach David sent out his decision to coach one last season of flag football. This caused quite a stir and apparently many of the parents had complained this past year about the fourth graders still playing flag that had an unfair size and maturity advantage over the third graders. I guess this was quite the source of conversation in the parents' circles but, of course, Andrea and I were once again out of the loop (we prefer it that way) and were unaware. I do not know that this was an issue to the boys as Isaiah never mentioned it....I am sure that some of the boys took on their parent's complaints. When we got home today and checked our email we were surprised at the back and forth emails between the entire group of parents, most were upset at Coach David. Most of the parents that voiced a concern felt that this was going to make them be what they had complained about last year....fourth graders playing flag instead of tackle. Some also felt that the kids needed to be pushed into tackle now to better prepare them for the future.

As we read all the emails we were wondering what exactly would be David's response. We were hoping that he was not disheartened by this. Late in the day he finally responded in a way that I have never seen. The way he related to the other parents and the reflection on his parenting and family priorities was possibly the most amazing statement I have ever seen.

I requested his permission to share and use what he wrote and he said yes, so here it is:

I appreciate everyone's responses. My email was not to sway you to play flag if you intended to play tackle, but to let you know what I would be coaching. Everything you said is right and true. However, I feel if your child, (and/or mine) has even the slightest reservation about playing tackle, then they should not play. They have to be ready in their brain. You can not make them ready, you can not make them "man up" because once they get tackled or hit and I mean REALLY tackled, or hit, it is going to make it worse for them, not better. Every injury I have ever had, every stitch and broken bone has been from playing football. I have even suffered injuries from playing flag football as an adult Some of the boys are definitely ready to play tackle football and although it pains me that we will be splitting up the team, ultimately I am signing up to coach my son Carson. I have coached many of these boys since the 1st grade, and have loved every minute of it. Every time I have made the decision for Carson in sports, it has been the wrong choice, I am letting him decide what he is ready for. I will miss any of you that decide to move on to tackle and will respect your decision to do so. Hopefully we will reunite the team after this season. Thanks, David

I pray that I can think, relate, and respond with such skill and wisdom.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Thirteen

It is officially over and the vacation went out with a blustering hot and humid day. I got this phase of the yardwork completed and we took the kids for a snowcone. It was a good day. Tomorrow it is back to the office which I am truly up for.

Thank you God and family for a wonderful two weeks of vacation!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Twelve

We are now officially home but the vacation is not yet officially over, the best and most fun is yet to come. I have been forbidden from going out to the church building until Saturday because tomorrow I get to finish the front flower beds which I began weeks ago. This is probably best as there has been a growing possibility that a neighborhood lynch mob is going to hit if something is not done. Maybe I will buy some time with the flower beds till I can try to get some grass planted this fall when it is cool enough. The really exciting thing about working outside in the garden tomorrow is that Gary England, local weatherman legend, said it is going to be 102 degrees with a heat index of 105 degrees, I guess I get to consider the joy of humidity on top of that. Where is my 70's at the beach of a week ago?

Caleb and Grace, and Slinky, stayed in Tulsa with Grammy and Papa since we are heading to children's camp on Sunday following church with Lily and Isaiah. Uncle Steven and Aunt Karen have promised them some time at the lake with the boat and Grammy and Papa have the ever present pool and food (without consideration of Jillian and her endocrinologist). Hannah decided to come home and stay with Grandma and Papa because she didn't want to miss anymore golf or cross country. Cool, cross country is at 6:45am in the morning! That beach is seeming to be further with every passing moment.

We went and vacuumed the sand out of Papa's car before returning it and visited with them and cousin Maggie for awhile. Then we went to the P.O. Box to find how many bills are due... due yesterday. Then to the store where Jillian and her endocrinologist were the main factor in everything we were allowed to purchase and ultimately consume. Not sure that eating that sand sounds so bad right now.

We have never taken our family on a vacation such as we did these past two weeks. We have been privileged to go on one trips with family including with my in-laws to Walt Disney World and then last summer my folks took us all to the beach at Galveston, both time they were wonderful experiences. However, this is the first time we have ever been gone this long or have just been with our immediate family. It was nice to see that we survived and had a good time. We said a prayer of thanks to God for permitting us to have such a neat time with the kids.

Now, I need to check the bank account to see if we are going to need to move in with some of the aforementioned family members for...ever.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Eleven

Up at eleven, substituted waffles and bacon for the usual frosted flakes because they were cooked and sitting on the counter, saw My Sister's Keeper (good except, of course, for required teen sex scene) with two kids while papa took other three to Night at the Museum and mom and grammy were shopping, watched kids swim, checked bank account, remembered mom and grammy shopping, checked bank account again, thought about fact that I am about to lose my remaining ministry staff, ate and played at Dave and Busters, swimming, looked at flaking feet, missed beach, considered going to bed early......tough life.

I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Ten

Got up early today after a rough night of sleeplessness. One of the kids could not sleep because of a scary movie commercial that had been seen just before bed time....you will see later that my expert parenting was to take children to a scary movie this afternoon. Went back to sleep for a little while and then got up to eat more of the Frosted Flakes that are still in the cupboard. Miraculously, this morning the original box was joined by a second box! It is a carbohydrate and sugar miracle. Confessed to Andrea, after I finished eating, that I just realized I forgot to bring my cholesterol medicine on trip so it has not been taken in some time.....got health and life endurance lecture from Andrea who is still reading her latest health book (thanks Jillian Michaels for giving my life such a new enjoyable twist, I shall think of you in a special way each time I am not allowed to drink out of a plastic bottle or partake of caffeine after lunch, or the many other things that you, and your dear endocrinologist, have taught my dear Andrea). Ate leftovers for lunch which was just fine with me as we had roast and gravy last night. Checked the bank account many times to see if we could still afford gas money for the trip home or food for the remainder of the month.

Thought about the proof I never did receive from the printer for our offering envelopes and considered how many I should have printed. Got a call from the printer that the envelopes had been printed and were ready for pick-up. Decided that I didn't have to worry about the proof or printing quantity anymore.

This afternoon Andrea went to get my glasses which had to go to California for a second time this summer for repair. She sent me, and papa, with all the kids to see Transformers II. Regardless of what all the critics have said, it was a fun action packed movie, an adventure the whole time. In addition to the action, you had all the sex references and foul language that reminded me of the Spielberg movies from the eighties, I was so glad to put those into Isaiah's vocabulary and ideas. Caleb, and even Isaiah, were not really worried about any of that as long as they got to see plenty of Meagan Fox, which they did. She has also been the topic of conversation since the movie, I could be in a great deal of trouble. Caleb is not concerned by her tattoos or language, Isaiah plans on reforming her....I just asked that she not use the "F" word when they have her over for dinner, Caleb assures me that I am not going to hear anything she says.

Came home from movie to rainstorm which meant no swimming which caused a bit of complaining, something that makes a vacation all the more enjoyable. Then, went to eat Mexican food, too much Mexican food. Now sitting by the pool, fighting with mosquitoes while the kids finally get to swim...life is good.

Andrea saw a bumper sticker from our Florida beach, she is now in mourning. My feet are peeling which is causing me to be in mourning.

Have not paid for a meal, or driven a mile on a highway for the last two days......I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Nine

Today I did not get in a vehicle the entire day, I did not go anywhere the entire day. Andrea has told me that I will be going on a walk later tonight but still, it has been a nice break. I slept until 10:30am, and ate Frosted Flakes, something that I am not normally allowed to eat but since they were in the cupboard at my in-laws I felt that it would be an insult to them if I didn't. I sat on the patio while some of the kids swam. I read the paper to find out that the world is still a mess, I read magazines that were on the table to discover that Jen has a new boyfriend, Angelina is pregnant which may save her marriage, I learned that Jon changed and that Kate feels like a failure while both feel that the kids are their priority. I read one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, and felt affirmed in much of my own journey. I heard from Grace and Andrea that Isaiah had not brushed his teeth in two days, I then heard from Isaiah that he had been brushing with my toothbrush all week because he had not wanted to go out to the car to get his toothbrush. I had slinky sleeping on my belly while I took a nap with one ear open in case there was a swimming pool emergency. I considered defriending some Facebook friends who seem to be using it as a business tool only, as well as others I am still not sure I actually know, I decided that it would be a good future project as it sounded like actual work right now. I took a cell phone call from Jerry's Water asking if they could come out to the church and do maintenance on our well water treatment system. I checked our bank account to see the best way to minimize the rippling effects of vacation. I emailed Jaimie, our children's pastor, about children's camp which begins this Sunday. I checked the church voicemail to discover that the alarm had gone off the night before due the glass breakage, this in spite of the fact that I had the alarm company disconnect the glass breakage sensor twice in the past year due to the 3:00am phone calls....I learned that the police were called which means that Officer Teddy had to make a trip out to the flats. The voice mail also alerted me to a damaged door, a Beth Moore Conference (a thought that exhausts me immediately), a touring music artist, a boat load of fax attempts, and a million other things.....I answered a few messages and then got back into vacation mode before Andrea ever knew that I had violated vacation rules.

I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Eight

This entry will be short as it is 12:20am and we just arrived in Tulsa after driving in from Nashville, TN. We would have been here earlier but we made a stop in Memphis, TN to tour the Civil Rights Museum and see the Lorraine Hotel where Martin King Jr. was shot. It was very interesting and another chilling moment being at the motel and seeing the famous balcony. I remember, as an eight year old, seeing the news and that balcony after the shooting had taken place. I remember my dad pointing it out to me and the significance of it. I am glad that we stopped and glad that our kids saw the museum. It is about the entire struggle for civil rights in America and not just about Martin Luther King. It was all the more interesting as we had just seen the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham and The Hermitage in Nashville.

There was a protester outside the museum complaining about the "gentrification" of either Martin Luther King Jr. or the entire subject of the civil rights struggle. I plan on studying this complaint further as I am not real sure that I have a grasp on what the protester meant....plus I just finished a ten hour drive so my mind is a bit mushy (or more than usual at least).

Andrea and the kids are now laughing loudly, poor Papa who goes to bed before 9:00pm and trying to sleep now, with stories about the trip which are things that I had completely forgotten. Stories about me falling on the snorkeling boat because Andrea was wearing my water shoes after swimming to shore in her dress, and about her getting sicker on the dock because of the fishermen gutting their fish right off the boats.

It reminds me of our first day in the water when I was sure that I had found a severed human head floating past me. I chased after the head with full intentions of picking it up, something that now concerns me, all the while thinking that this was going to make a very interesting post on my blog....a fact that concerns me even more. It turned out to be a baseball style hat carrying the logo for "Paradise Farms (or Ranch)" in Texas on it. I had plans to keep it and wear it as a cool souvenir, Andrea and Grace thought otherwise and threw it away without my knowledge. Although it concerns me that my first thought was the entertainment value, you have to admit it would have been a story of a lifetime.

Our money has run out so the remainder of our vacation will be spent at Grammy and Papa's. I am sure that the irony is not lost on them that our vacation will mean more work for them. But, I am still on vacation, only now it will mean a lot less driving.....cool!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Seven

We are definitely not at the beach anymore! Arrived in Nashville early afternoon today to find that life is definitely still going on and the crowds are still wherever country music and all-you-can-eat buffets exist. We checked into the hotel where we soon found a totally new version of a bed which is not a single but nowhere near a queen or even a double....on this I will be sleeping with 360 turnaround boy Isaiah....I could be an interesting night. The only consolation is that they are SelectComfort beds which Isaiah has already set on the softest setting which means we are sunk in like a taco so neither of us will be able to move all night....I have a feeling that my back will be locked into the taco position for sometime to come.

This afternoon we toured the Hermitage, Andrew Jackson's plantation home. While in the house I stepped off the carpet and onto the original wood floors. This is a "no-no" according to daughter Hannah who quickly came over and corrected me. The authentically dressed tour guide then chose to go on break since her job was being done better by this twelve year old girl.

Andrew Jackson was a very interesting guy who married a lady who was still married to another man. People made fun of them as a couple since he was tall and skinny and she was short and stout. He was for the little guy unless that little guy was a slave, a native American, or a female. He adopted a son of a relative allowing him to have an heir since he and his wife had no children of his own. He was an interesting guy who worked to keep the Union together, but not quite willing to get the Union to the moral place it needed to be.

Tonight we attended the Grand Ole Opry. It is a something that I thought my kids needed to see at least once and am surprised that they are wanting to go again in the future. None of their favorite county singers were on the bill tonight but they were still entertained. I must admit I am still trying to figure out what I thought of Little Jimmy Dickens singing a serious and very sad song to and with a Raggedy Ann doll. At one point he was holding the doll to his face and singing of how the doll helped his daughter get through the death of his wife and then him to survive the death of his daughter. Tonight being the Fourth of July gave cause for many patriotic songs to be in the program but otherwise I now realize that most country songs are directly or indirectly about sex.

Tomorrow we will decide if we continue the vacation or head to Tulsa to spend a few days with Grammy and Papa. The kids are split on their opinions of what we need to do...I just looked at the bank account and am wondering if we can afford gas to get home.

I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Six

This morning we said a sad goodbye to the beach and headed out after first stopping and adding our final contribution to the Walton Beach tax base by buying souvenirs.

Garmin once again chose to take us on the smallest roads possible through Florida and Alabama to Fulltondale which is just outside Birmingham. We stopped for gas in Brantley, Alabama where gas is 25 cents higher than either of the towns ten miles before or after Brantley. The gas station doubled as a fireworks stand but the monumental attribute of this station, and possibly the town was their unique approach to bathroom facilities. Upon entering the station/fireworks stand you see the prominent sign pointing you to the bathrooms. I was very glad to see this sign as I greatly needed to go to the bathroom following the multiple cokes I had consumed at Boogey's in DeFuniak Springs, Florida. I was less sure about the whole endeavor when I realized that the men's bathroom was actually a urinal posted on the wall in the back hall, there was a partial partition which still permitted everyone up front buying groceries, or fireworks, to clearly see you at work. I debated just how full my bladder was, quickly analyzed the possibility of this town having an actual private bathroom, and then went ahead and put aside all modesty. Also in the hall/bathroom of the gas station/fireworks stand was a doorway with a sign that said "Danger, Do not Open this Door", directly below the sign was another sign that said "If you open this door you are Stupid!". I stood there really wanting to know what was behind this dangerous door but also not wanting the world, who had just watched me go to the bathroom, to know that I was indeed stupid. I chose to retain a bit of dignity and did not open the door, a decision I somewhat regret as I am writing this blog. On the way out of the gas station/fireworks stand there was a canister on the counter that had yet another sign on it that said "Donations for bathroom supplies". I was going to the ask the lady behind the counter exactly what "supplies" the donations went for since I had seen no supplies in the hallway/bathroom, or if the "supplies" include an actual door but when I looked at her I was filled with great fear so I chose to pay for my 25cent higher gasoline and an individual bag of M&Ms...it was the largest bag of individual M&Ms I have ever seen possibly giving Brantley, Alabama yet another claim to fame.

We finally arrived in Fulltondale and checked into our hotel, thanks to Grandma for giving up all your final reward points to pay for hotels in Louisiana and Alabama! In the elevator going up to our third floor room we were joined by Alma from South Carolina who was sharing with her husband that she heard that someone had pooped in the pool. "They really let it rip!" she said. I am not sure what bothered me more, the fact that there may have been poop in the pool or that almost 70 year old Alma from South Carolina said "let it rip".

We then headed to dinner choosing to try to stick with our "local" restaurants theme we have had throughout the trip so we passed Chic-Fil-A and headed to a "world famous" resturant that turned out to be Cajun themed in a building that looked like a former Braums (I realize that they do not have Braums in Alabama....or at least none that we saw). We did not realize until entering that this was a Louisiana Cajun restaurant which had everyone giving looks when the notebook size menus were thrown on the table. The kids chose the authentic Cajun dishes of Pizza, Fries, and Grilled Chicken with a dessert of Ice Cream. Andrea and I had to stick with our "You need to try new things" lectures so I ate probably the one type of food I have never been drawn to.....yes, Jaimie and Andrew, I ate your Louisiana food and I am still alive. I asked the waitress what "Dirty Rice" is, a question I thought was totally appropriate since it was on the menu, and she told me that every morning the cook comes in and puts all the rice on the ground and walks around on it and then puts it in the oven. I ate the Dirty Rice proving to the kids that I will even eat food from a state where the preparation involves putting it on the floor.

As all the Dirty Rice and Shrimp Creole was almost gone from my plate, or at least pushed around so it looked eaten, we began to talk with the waitress and the other customers in the restaurant who all seemed to be related to the waitress. I was asking about attractions we should see in the area and all anyone could think of was the IMAX. Realizing that I was in a Louisiana Cajun restaurant in Alabama I could not help but see how this group of southern white folks felt about the civil rights significance of their area. I asked about 16th Street Baptist Church (where the four girls died in the early sixties after the KKK placed 19 sticks of dynamite under the auditorium) and the Civil Rights Institute and Museum in Birmingham. There was a quick pause and the conversation changed, it was very obvious. "I think there is an art museum down there also," was her response. It was very interesting.

Not sure that we will have time tomorrow before heading to Nashville we went ahead and drove downtown by the church. It was the most ordinary site you could imagine, making it all the more chilling. Our kids got the speech, the kids defined it as a lecture, about labeling people and taking on hate. We talked about Hitler, minorities, gays, etc stressing that the labels can come from anywhere including people that we respect and admire.

When we got back to the hotel we went ahead and took a chance on the possibility of poop in the pool allowing the kids to suit up. I grabbed my new Donald Miller book and Andrea grabbed her latest health book, we may never get to eat anything tasty again. We sat down by the pool while the kids got in.....there was no poop anywhere to be found.

Tomorrow we head to Nashville where we are going to go to the Grand Ole Opry tomorrow night, unsure what is next.....I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Five

Our last full day at the beach, we have fallen in love with Santa Rosa at Walton Beach, Florida. Andrea, the kids, and I have all signed on, hopefully, for a repeat next year.

It was a pretty uneventful day, spent mostly at the beach except for a couple of hours this afternoon when we had to get out of the approaching storm. Made us appreciate what a hurricane must be like. Ate dinner at Amore's and dessert at Lucille's and then back to the beach until dark. Caleb buried Isaiah twice, once giving him a female body complete with anatomically correct, although quite inappropriate, body parts, the second burying was with Isaiah's ideal male body, ripped abs, etc. this also with anatomically correct, still inappropriate, body parts. Isaiah wanted a picture for his face book page, I insisted that the questionable body parts be surgically removed prior to the picture....we have learned much from cousin Drew's facebook picture postings.

After Isaiah dug himself out of the sand he began to tell me of his other life long dreams, in addition to the ideal body. These included going on a cruise, something he has wanted to do his "whole" life, eating the world's largest sloppy joe and then eating the world's smallest sloppy joe (he doesn't like sloppy joes by the way)....then we got sidetracked by a spotting of the worlds largest crab swimming around or feet. By this time I looked up and saw that Caleb had now buried himself and had somehow managed to give himself anatomically correct, yet still inappropriate, body parts....at least we have hope that he will do well in biology this year in high school.

Kids are now in taking showers, it came to our attention that two of the Anthony children, male children to be specific, have not bathed since Louisiana (maybe Oklahoma). Since we are about to sit in a vehicle together for the next couple of days it was decided by the females in our group that they would shower with soap. They protested but were outvoted....their argument that they have been in the ocean and the pool did not carry much weight......my testimony regarding them using the bathroom in the ocean seemed to seal the deal for the girls argument.

Speaking of argument, I have been spending the time this week prior to going to sleep reading the Justification argument going on between theologians N.T. Wright and John Piper. Evidently this argument has been going on for over a year, with both men writing a complete book since it began. Even though I am a year behind I am finding it fascinating, not just that they are on this topic but that this past year this has been the same journey God has taken me on in my time in the Word. I find much of what both men say insightful and interesting and find myself encouraged that this discussion, especially the idea that our lives show fruit if we are truly justified, taking place not just among theologians but pastors and lay people.

Well, the rain is hitting hard again and I need to get off the patio. Tomorrow we head to Birmingham, Alabama where I hope to get to take the kids on a visit helping them better understand the battle for equality that has taken place in this country.

I am on vacation!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Four

We got around early this morning, 9:30am (remember, we are on vacation), and headed to Destin to meet the Pelican Adventures boat which was going to take us snorkeling and dolphin watching. We got lost, but after calling Vern, the Pelican Adventures lady, we discovered that we were actually lost in the parking lot of Pelican Adventures....we were now "The Stragglers" according to Vern, I started to share with her my Native American heritage but thought that getting lost may not be a trait of that heritage. Andrea also feels that Earl was wrong and that the only thing Native American about me is that I was birthed in Oklahoma against my will.

We got on the boat after preparing Andrea with a double dose of nausea medicine and after the rules were reviewed which included "Please tip the captain and crew after the boat ride for their hard work". Andrea had chosen not to wear her swimsuit because her fantasy plan for the day included her not getting sick (I brought a plastic bag just in case), the captain gently taking her up to the shore where, upon the gentle arrival, she would have a lounge chair waiting under a palm tree where she would read her latest health book. The captain was only able to get a ways off the shore which involved all of us jumping from the boat with our snorkeling gear and swimming to the best fish viewing location. The captain did not seem to understand the plans of Andrea even when she later shared them with him. After sitting on the boat with the captain, the snack shop lady and the passenger with a infant for about an hour, and after the waves began to shatter the one final part of the fantasy (Andrea will not get sick) she chose to go ashore. The captain still did not feel that he could bring the boat to the shore, nor did he seem to understand the whole palm tree, lounge chair, and book plan, so Andrea jumped off the boat in her sun dress and swam over to us. Once the snorkeling was over and we got back on the boat the captain, still not understanding any part of the fantasy especially the "not get sick" part headed out of the bay to see the dolphins. Two dolphins began swimming in front of the boat which led the captain (still forgetting the fantasy) to chase them up and down over the waves. Andrea had now begun a new fantasy which included as few people as possible being hit by her seasick expression. Once back on the dock, still no seasick expression, Andrea made it to the car, looking worse than any hospital patient I have ever seen, where she vividly expressed her seasickness.

She took more medicine, she emptied her stomach, she took more medicine. She began to not care.

When we arrived back at our condo all five kids were forced to endure a hell greater than any they have endured thus far in their lives....they had to wait, before heading to the beach, for mom and dad to take a nap. Dad had to sleep off the fact that he is almost 100 years old, Mom had to sleep off her mega dose of "I don't care if I am seasick pills".

At 5:30pm we finally headed out. By this time all fantasies had been set aside and the kids were now in complete control. Andrea stayed by the pool with Hannah and Grace, who were tired of the beach, and I headed to the beach with Isaiah, Lily, and Caleb. At about 7:00pm, as the sun was beginning to set, Andrea and the two girls joined us at the beach. We dug giant holes, we buried siblings, we took care of that pesty shell problem the ocean has, we quickly got out of the water when we saw a stingray....I looked up and Andrea was sitting on a straw mat (no palm tree) reading her health book without a hint of sickness. After the sun had set and it began to be dark we headed back to the condo where we got in the pool....I looked up and there was Andrea, sitting on her lounge chair and under a palm tree, reading her health book. Fantasies just take a while.

Later we decided to do a reverse dinner and go for dessert and then return for a sandwich dinner. We walked to the nearby restaurants just as they were shutting down for the night. So, we loaded up the car and ended up at a Karaoke Bar and Grill where we ended up eating dinner and listening to 15 year old Ashley sing "I Do Dirty Things Cheap", and Slim sing "Wild Thing", and Bud and his father-in-law sing "You Don't Have to Call Me Darlin, Darlin." They did not serve dessert, apparently dessert does not go with Karoake, so we ate appetizers and other non dessert items. We finished eating at 10:15pm just as the DJ announced that it was the end of the Jr. Karaoke time, we were not real sure how much more unjunior you could get than "I Do Dirty Things Cheap" so we decided that it was time to head out.

We are now home, I checked our bank account and we can still buy gas for the trip home, the ducks are still loud, and I have no idea of tonight's sleeping plans.....I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Three

Today was a great day as we spent most of it at the beach after sleeping in....well as much sleeping in as is possible when five kids are itching to get to the beach. I managed to not get in trouble once by kids or wife....this truly is a vacation (of course we were many feet from anyone who could witness my true dorkiness so that may be the key). I put on SPF 50 sunscreen at least five times throughout the day which means, with my Anthony, Miller, Stansfield, and Leamaster blood, I am a slight red on most parts of my body. The kids put on even more sunscreen but they have the additional blood of the Johnsons, Tuckers, Bonds, and Benningfields, which means we may as well go ahead and get the butter sauce ready to go with their lobster skin.

I did learn that I am, at least part, native American. Pick yourself up Ruby! This is according to Earl, who has a vacation house here after falling in love with the beach when he used to race greyhounds at the track here but actually lives elsewhere in Florida and is a Creek Indian, complete with all the knowledge of the Creek tribe including their association with at least one Randy Jackson song and how all the Creeks that were at least 1/16 were forced to move to Oklahoma but most of them claimed to be Scottish (or Irish....I was having to tell Caleb to not throw sand at his sisters during this part of the story) so they would not have to move to Oklahoma which is why most of the Floridans who claim to be Scottish (or Irish...thanks Caleb and your blasted hand of sand and ornery plans) are actually Creek Indians. Earl says that I have the undeniable facial features of a Creek Indian. I woke up a hopeless traveler and am going to bed a man with a proud heritage! Andrea is wanting to know if this could help us pay for college.

The topper of the day was after eating dinner in Grayton Beach, and adding further to the tax base of Walton Beach, we decided to drive down and check out the community at Grayton. All the University of Alabama boys that were buying their beer at the market next to the restaurant made us wonder if it might be a neat place to stay. With all the beer they were buying it is possible they will still be here passed out the next time we visit. Grayton is a laid back area with a great deal of sand, a great deal...enough sand to get a vehicle stuck. Luckily a very nice man in a jeep, who Lily is convinced was an angel because he appeared out of nowhere and drove off into the dark and was dressed very nice, stopped and helped us out of the sand. You may see the video on YouTube soon that Grace made while we were getting it unstuck including her yelling "Push, Push, it is going to blow up!" over and over. She also said several folks sitting on a nearby porch were yelling as well. I started to be humiliated but then remember the University of Alabama boys and realized that no one, except for my kids, the angel, and everyone who watches the video on YouTube is going to remember anything in the morning that took place tonight.

One other thing we discovered today is that Lily has the perfect aerodynamic body for boogie boarding. While Isaiah had been able to consecutively go the furthest with the waves all of his records were blown out of the water as Lily went at least double the distance over and over. Go Lily...Isaiah is filling an official protest which he outlined at dinner.

So, we are back at the condo, Jessica, wonderful Jessica from Republic bank, once again corrected our mistakes so our bank account is now back in order (at least until they get the debit for dinner), the ducks are still loud, and I am ready for a nice night of rest.....last night we had a major bedding shift as Hannah and Lily decided they did not like sleeping near the front door which meant that once again I did not get to sleep with Andrea...tonight, I just found out, there has been another bedding shift and Isaiah has been kicked out of the bunk beds and into my bed....it may not be the best night of sleep ever (Isaiah practices full body spinning in his sleep)...but I am on vacation.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day Two

We are here, I am now sitting on the balcony of our condominium which has a gulf view...however, the gulf view of the neighbors is greatly disrupting our gulf view, but still, we are here. Here is Santa Rosa on Walton Beach, Florida which is right next to Destin, Florida.

The remainder of our trip here was basically uneventful. I made my usual "count of kids" every twenty five minutes to make sure we had all the kids even though no one had been out of the car for the past two and a half hours, a fact that my dear daughter Hannah reminded me of....every twenty five minutes She finally told me that she would be in charge of counting Anthony kids and would let me know when someone was gone....I still asked and I still got in trouble.

The trip went pretty smooth until the last hour when, like clockwork, we revealed that we are not the Duggars. An argument erupted from the back row which caused the second row to chime in, I soon saw feet in the air when I glanced in the rear view mirror. I was assured that all seat belts were still buckled and that I still had five kids in the vehicle. I inquired if all the kids still had all their limbs and other body parts, I received no assurances.

It was raining pretty heavy when we arrived much to the chagrin of the kids who didn't understand why lightening was keeping us from walking over to the beach. I soon succumbed to the pressure and we walked across to the beach with the promise from all five Anthony children, including Isaiah, that we would only wade and not get our body's wet. At the beach I soon recognized the feet that I had seen in the rear view mirror earlier and had to send Caleb into the surf to retrieve his submerged and upside down brother. The girls, who were grabbing shells before the crabs dug into the sand, soon pointed out that my shorts were wet from the surf and why was I allowed to get wet and not them. I then stupidly pointed out the situation with their brothers which only served to add weight to their argument. I, once again, lost, everyone but mom was now in the water, she was sitting comfortably, not wet, in a rental beach chair that we had not paid for.

Later we found a place to eat and then a Walmart to prepare for tomorrow. At both places we made up for the money we did not pay for the beach chair. Walton Beach tax base is greatly benefiting from the Anthony visit.

It is 11:00pm and I am on vacation. I hear the kids running around inside the condo but the downstairs neighbors have not yet complained (if I counted right they have eleven kids down there so we may remain off their radar), I just found a mistake on our bank account which has caused insufficient funds to develop, and we have some ducks around here that are louder than a train. It is 11:00pm and I am on vacation......Cool!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Vacation - Day One

Perhaps taking a vacation the week after a major church youth trip in Texas was not the best idea. An even worse idea may have been to attend a family reunion in Stillwater yesterday. To add to this, our plans to board Slinky fell through late Friday night so Andrea had to drop four of the kids and me off at the reunion and then turn around with Caleb and take Slinky to stay with her parents in Tulsa. The reunion was to end at 6pm so we felt that we had plenty of time for her to go and return, this was until I realized that all family members were pretty much finished reuniting by 4:45 which is when I saw people began to clean up. Andrea was still over an hour away, I quickly hitched a ride for four kids and myself (not that easy of a task). I say this may not have been the best ideas for two reasons, the first being that we were totally not ready for the alarm to go off this morning at 7:00am, and then again at 7:09am, then again at 7:18am, then again at 7:27am, then again…I have to stop here due to my poor math skills. The second reason is that Slinky is living the life of luxury at my in-laws, they had a heating pad ready for him to sleep on and sat and pet him for hours his first night. I feel certain he is going to laugh at the thought of returning to our mad house where he has to share attention with “those” five kids. So, at 7:something Andrea and I finally pulled our exhausted bodies out of bed.

It was clear that our departure goal of 8:00am was not going to work since I had not even packed yet, but we shot ahead anyway. Things were going smoothly until I went out and opened up the back of my dad’s SUV which we borrowed for the trip only to discover that the luggage room had somehow disappeared. Mom and Dad coyly mentioned this to me last night as I took the car but, having never seen the car with the seats all up, I felt that it would be fine. This morning, as I stood there with a stack of suitcases I began to doubt my confidence.

As I began the harrowing process Isaiah comes out carrying his toothbrush in hand, “Do I need to bring this?”

Near completion I had to go inquire if Andrea was really serious about going on vacation with us since we could really use her seat for luggage….she said I would have to buy her an airline ticket, I looked at our bank account and quickly found room for all the luggage and her. At least I thought it was all the luggage, as four of the kids were in the car in their claimed seats, I see Grace come out of the house pulling a suitcase….Isaiah’s suitcase.

“Oh, yeah,” he said from the back, “I meant to bring that.” He then returned to his DS.

Finally we were in the car and on the road, “Wait a minute,” Isaiah shouted from the back of the car, “Do you mean we are not going to church? I thought we were going to church first.” We then attempted to explain the entire Florida vacation plan, “Oh, yeah,” he commented and then returned again to his DS.

We chose to rely on the Garmin to direct us on the trip; Gar has never failed us thus far. What we did not know was that Gar has some prejudice against the major roads in Texas; we now are intimately acquainted with the small towns of northeast Texas. Particularly Bonham, Texas which is where we stopped for lunch, we knew it was time for lunch as it was at this point that Isaiah began to torment his sister Hannah, that was a point of no return…food was the only solution, that and sitting at separate tables. Gar led us to a downtown Mexican restaurant which was very good but apparently has no concern for speed; we were now over an hour behind schedule.

Because the clean bathrooms at the Mexican restaurant were not good enough we soon had to stop for a potty break. This was possibly our biggest mistake. As we approached the outside bathrooms of the Shell Station in somewhere, Texas, the manager came running out with a light bulb.

“You will need this,” he began, “ and you won’t want to use the men’s room since it has been stopped up since this morning, darn (I am using my pastoral censorship here) teenagers, that is why we are installing an inside entrance so we can keep an eye on what goes on in those. They stuffed an entire roll of paper towels in the toilet yesterday and I am the only person in town that can do plumbing!” He then began to walk back into the store where we later discovered that he is also the corndog and ribs cook as well, “You will need to have someone stand outside the door because it does not shut all the way.” I soon saw the look of horror in Hannah and Grace’s eyes. I went in first and attempted make it suitable for a princess, paper towels on the seats and all trash put in the can. It didn’t work and they soon yelled at me to come in and help them with it…this was not completely understood by the locals who were also standing in line for what must have been the only working toilet in town.

“We will just wait,” the girls said as they left the bathroom.

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. We are saying that a large area of east Texas smells very bad since no one admitted responsibility for the odor. The bridge over the Mississippi gave the girls quite a scare as they were not sure it was properly engineered, a fear that I do not think is a reflection on Louisiana engineers, just my girls life of doubt in…well, just about everyone and everything.

So here we are, at the Fairfield Inn in Baton Rouge getting ready to get a good night’s sleep before we head to Destin, Florida tomorrow morning.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

We are watching “Ice Road Trucker” so I think I will be ready for just about anything on the road tomorrow.

Saved by the Diet

Last night was another rushed evening at the Anthony household. I barely got to sit down and eat dinner with Andrea and the kids before I had to hurry Lily and Hannah to batting practice prior to their final tournament game of the season. So, all during the game I looked forward to getting home and eating a hearty helping of spaghetti, my real dinner, which Andrea had assured me was awaiting me in the fridge. We lost the game, which is why I said "final" earlier, and which is why many of the parents, after sitting in the heat night after night, seemed to be leaving the game with a smile on their face. After the game we hit Maggie Moos for an end of season celebration and then home and then back to family video to return the four videos and two games which were due by midnight but purchased with our report card "A's". Finally, we were home and I prepared for my awaiting spaghetti. I got into my pajamas, I took off my glasses, and stuck the plate in the microwave. Once it was finished I decided that it would be nice to add some Parmesan cheese to the top. I looked around in the fridge, without my glasses, and finally found a different looking container in the door that didn't look exactly like cheese but it was closer than anything else in the fridge. I started to sprinkle some on my spaghetti when I remembered my anti-salt diet and made the right choice, I put the "cheese" back in the fridge unused.

I made a good choice.

This morning I pulled Hunter, Isaiah's anole, out of his cage in order to clean his habitat. We are getting ready to head to Dallas for a church youth trip so Grandma or cousin Maggie will be taking care of Hunter and we felt a cleaner container may make the entire process a bit less revolting. Once I had his home clean enough for an anole I put him back it and sprayed some water on the sides (anoles are apparently very picky about how they receive their liquids). Then I thought that it would be nice to feed him so I began to look for the crickets which were no where to be found. Before giving up I remembered that Andrea and I both had visited every pet store in the area yesterday only to find no one had crickets but that everyone expected a delivery soon, much like my Christmas search for Wii Fit. Andrea had decided to substitute meal worms for the crickets since it had been a few days since we had fed Hunter and his color was quick changing to a funeral black. I searched the house only to find that the meal worms were as evasive as Hunter would like to be. I then remembered my Parmesan cheese. I remembered that it didn't look like Parmesan cheese, it didn't smell like Parmesan cheese, it had absolutely no resemblance to Parmesan cheese. I put on my glasses only to find that it was not Parmesan cheese but meal worms.

The meal worms were none to happy about my discovery but Hunter and my stomach were more than grateful!

Thank goodness for my God forsaken low salt diet.

Here I Dwell,
Rick