Happy Birthday....Again!

Today is Isaiah's birthday. Isaiah is eight today, Happy Birthday Isaiah!

Isaiah is our "fifth and final" child and has continually taught us how much we do not know about parenting. He has also taught us how much we do not know about life.

We sat on the back patio tonight after we had celebrated over a birthday meal and smores on the grill. We watched the kids play soccer and jump on the trampoline in the backyard. As we sat there, Andrea and I began to remind ourselves of the hospital experience we had at Isaiah's birth. It was really our only negative birthing experience and it could have been corrected if we had only taken a little more control. Our birthing nurse probably should not have been on duty that night, or even that week. After a couple of hours of labor she came in to check Andrea's dilation and then stated that she was not real sure why she did it since she had severe carpal tunnel and could not really feel anything (so we just assumed that she was guessing on the dilation numbers). Then after many hours she promised to help Andrea use the bathroom only to disappear for almost an hour. I finally had to go to the supplies room and get a catheter kit and a nurse and insist on help. This is just a snippet of the negative events of the birth experience. It was not a pleasant experience and it could have so easily have been corrected had we only requested another nurse.

As we sat there tonight we could not figure out why we didn't request a different nurse. It would have been so easy but still we did not do it. It may been a fear of hurting her feelings or even a lack of realization that we could even do such a thing. It would have made such a difference.

I wonder how many other negative experiences could be corrected if I would just speak up. How many times have I allowed another person's actions, or lack of actions, lead to a bad impression which was not necessary.

It also made me wonder how many times I have caused someone to have an unnecessary negative experience. How many times I could have turned a negative to a positive if I were just more sensitive to what was going on.

I wonder.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Thanks

Part of the leadership structure of Grace Fellowship is a group called the Lay Leadership Council. This group consists of 10-12 individuals who serve a two year term. The objective is to have this group be an even mix of male and female and an accurate representation of our church in regards to age groups, life situations, etc. The group meets monthly, sometimes more often, to take care of the business of the church.

Each year half the council rotates off with a new crew coming on for the following two years. Two years ago this month Wayne and Bonnie Scoggins, Bill and DeAnn Pollard, and Joe and Ronna Hayes were the newcomers to the council. They had no idea, none of us had any idea, the journey they would go on over the course of their two years on the council. Somehow they ended up being a group consisting completely of our older, retired (or partially retired) adults, this was without a doubt God's plan. The two years that they have been on council have seen a transition of Senior Pastor, a writing and rewriting and final acceptance of bylaws, as well as a multitude of other heavy and sometimes burdensome events. As I look back, I do not know how we, or I, would have made it without these six individuals. They have guided us with wisdom and discernment through what could have been, and sometimes were, dismal and bleak times.

Many times they frustrated me to death, those were mainly times when they failed to see my wisdom and genius. Those were also times when we would labor together, ending up with an outcome far more genius or even wise than even my mind could create. They would honestly and sincerely critique my ideas, as well as the ideas of others, to discern what is truly God's will and best for Grace Fellowship and our community. They did not approach their responsibility with their own agenda as their primary focus. They truly exampled how to argue, discuss, collaborate, and pray to end up where God desires us to be. They helped Grace Fellowship come to a point of health and to a point where we are ready to meet the world.

I told the newcomers at our council meeting tonight, along with our mid-termers, that these six have set a high bar of excellence for us to live up to. They have have paved the way for leading with Christ as our motivation and goal. They have taken us to a better place to dwell.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Switch Hitter...Catcher

Today, Isaiah, my seven year old, became a right hander...or at least an almost completely right hander. He has always written with his left hand so we have always assumed that he was left handed. Each year, in baseball, he would bat both right and left so we also decided that he was a switch hitter. However, we still got him a left handed glove. Two weeks ago his baseball coach moved him to catcher and asked me to get him a left handed catcher's glove. I got him a $45.00 left handed catcher's glove because Play It Again Sports didn't have any used less than $45.00 left handed catcher's gloves.

I should have had my doubts since this same coach had decided that Isaiah should be batting right handed only weeks before. I should have thought through the $45.00 left handed catcher's glove purchase. I especially should have thought through the take off the tags and use permanent marker to write "Isaiah" on the glove actions.

Early last week Isaiah's grandad, my dad, became convinced that Isaiah could throw better with his right hand. I told him that it was impossible since I had already bought him a $45.00 left handed catcher's glove. As convincing as my argument was he was not convinced and got our youth minister, Jake, to work with Isaiah. Jake, forgetting that I am actually in a supervisory role over him, agreed that Isaiah threw better with his right hand (with no regard for the already purchased $45.00 left handed catcher's glove). Then today, my sister, Beth, demonstrated the same disregard for the already purchased $45.00 left handed catcher's glove by proclaiming that Isaiah throws better with his right hand.

Isaiah's grandad, my dad who has no respect for the already purchased $45.00 left handed catcher's glove, took Isaiah to Athletic Village to buy him the identical $45.00 catcher's glove only for the right hand. Isaiah came home amazed at how easy it was to find a right handed glove. He had never experienced having a selection when he had to purchase a left handed glove.

He is now in the amazing paradigm of right handers while still having a foot, or at least a writing hand, in the world of left handers. It is an amazing world that was evidently there all the time only he was being held back by his parents.

It makes you wonder what other worlds are all around us that we are missing!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Back on the Field

Nine years ago this summer, Craig Stevens convinced me to be his assistant coach in the coming fall soccer league. I had no experience in soccer whatsoever, but Craig did, so I felt secure in doing this with him. When I arrived at the coaches meeting prior to the soccer season Craig met me at the door with some very interesting news.

"I just found out that they are no longer doing co-ed soccer," Craig, the father of a daughter, said to me, the father of a son, "so that means you are signed up to be the head coach of Caleb's soccer team."

My look of horror led him to promise that the soccer league would provide me plenty of training. It turned out to be one of those promises that sound good but turn out to be too good to be true.

So, the first soccer game I ever attended was the one where I was the coach. I probably did not instill a great deal of confidence in my young players, or their parents, when I told them at the first practice that I didn't know anymore about soccer than they did. I later learned that this was not true, most of them actually knew a great deal more than me. Anyway, I spent most of the season exhibiting my ignorance as I would have to do things like ask the opposing coach who kicked off following a score.

Over the years I continued to coach each child's first year of soccer and then would retire knowing that I had exceeded my soccer expertise. I was honest enough to admit that it was time to send them on to someone who knew more than I. So, I would hand off my seasoned, yet only six or seven years of age, players to a more knowledgeable coach. It was for the best.

While, it would seem that each year I would get sucked back into coaching softball or baseball, and even a few times basketball, my lack of soccer skills kept the soccer league from asking me to come back on as a coach. It was always a bit like when Ron Uhles called me to coach football and I made sure that he knew that he was talking to "the Rick Anthony that he went to High School with"....he quickly said that he thought he would be able to "get someone else but thanks anyway."

Tomorrow, however, all that will change. The girls' soccer coach is unable to be there for their final game of the season, and apparently every other parent, and every other human being, on the face of the planet is busy. So, I have been called back to the game.

Coaching 10-11 year old girls is more scary than coaching six year olds! They have things like "off-sides" at this age. "Off-sides" is something that my children gave up on explaining to me years ago. It was hopeless. There may even be an expectation to win even though I made the coach promise to instruct the players and parents alike to lower the bar of their expectations almost to ground level.

Anyway, here I am, or will be at 9:00am tomorrow morning, on the team side of the soccer field. It has been many years since I have been on that side of the field. It has been even more years since I had a desire to be on that side of the field. But, there I will be.

Tonight the real coach sent me her suggestion of the positions for each of the girls. I, in turn, had to ask my girls what and where each of the positions are. Tomorrow I will send the Conner to Keeper, Megan to Sweeper, Grace and Charlie to Defender (left and right), Madeline, Hannah, and Madison to Mid (left, right, and center), and Nikki to Forward with Kyle and Natalia ready to be subbed in at mid, forward and defender. As I sit here I guess this means that Megan and Conner never get a break. As I sit here I have all types of questions....like "what in the world am I doing coaching this team?!"

If this is the biggest challenge in my life, life isn't too bad. An entire girls soccer team may need grief counseling tomorrow, but we will all survive. We will continue to dwell, and hopefully learn to dwell abundantly.

"I came so that you may have life, life to it's fullest?" (Christ, John 10:10).

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Following Orders

On Monday of this week Andrea gave me strict orders not to schedule anything without first checking with her. We had crazy individual schedules this week combined with a crazy family schedule which led her to give me these orders. Today I violated this instruction twice. Daughter Grace asked if I would come get her for lunch at 11:00am. I agreed and then found out from a somewhat frustrated Andrea that we were both scheduled to be at a luncheon for CCFI (Center for Children and Families Inc.) at noon. I ended up having lunch twice, that wasn't all that bad. Then tonight, while Andrea was out on an errand, I agreed to take a friend of Hannah's to the girls' softball game tomorrow night. This was not so good since I have to have my girls at soccer just prior to the game and Isaiah at his baseball practice at this same time. None of this would usually be a problem except for the fact that Andrea has clients tomorrow night and will not be available to help transport. This means that I am committed to be in two places at the same time already without factoring in my latest commitment. Even with calling in grandparents picking up the friend could not be worked out. I had to uncommit which is always a bit embarrassing. I should have followed Monday's rule to not schedule anything without permission (although I still think the two lunches was not such a bad thing)....or, Andrea just should not leave my side.

Quite possibly it is all her fault.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Marathon

On Sunday, Andrea, the kids, and I ran in the OKC Memorial Kid's Run. It was only 1.2 miles (the kids actually had run the other 25 miles in the weeks preceeding the run) but I am still saying that I ran in a marathon. We had to get to the city by 7:30am and then ran around the bombing memorial in the wet and cold weather. We were then back in Norman in time for church. I think that I have quite a story of endurance and perseverance going for me!

That afternoon at Isaiah's soccer game, Marta Thomason, Caden's mom was limping around. She had run the entire marathon. I cannot even imagine doing such a thing....I cannot imagine even wanting to do such a thing! I had enough to whine about from my simple 1.2 miles, I can only imagine what I would be like if I had run the entire 26 miles!

Last night Andrea was on the web looking at all the marathons, and partial marathons, that are available. The girls have now decided that we need to do the five mile run in Tulsa.

What has my life come to?!?!

Here I dwell,
Rick

Lasting Impact

This morning I attended my kids' school morning assembly. We attended because this was the day that third graders presented their square dancing they have been working on. My daughter Lily, a third grader, was dancing in a dress that was made by her great, great, great grandmother decades ago when she was a young girl. It was probably a fancy dress in it's time, especially for someone of her social and economic status.

All three of our girls have worn the dress when they have done their square dancing. Daughter Grace even wore it this last summer when she played a young school girl in a documentary about Robert S. Kerr (don't ask her about it unless you want to see her disgust....after sitting in a hot old school house for the filming, her part was cut which she only discovered after enduring the premier).

I always wish that my grandmother had been able to attend one of these events before she passed away so she could enjoy this dress that has been used by probably six generations. I also always wonder if my great, great, grandmother had any idea what the impact of this dress would be. I am sure that her thoughts were just on having a nice dress to wear and yet it has continued to be worn and treasured over a hundred years later. It probably has seen square dancing in each of the generations!

We never know the lasting impact our simple actions may have.

The creator of the Chaos Theory, otherwise known as the Butterfly Effect, died this week. This theory says that one action has an ultimate effect of many other actions. The author felt certain that the flapping of a butterfly wings on one continent can ultimately have an impact on the weather, or other effects, on a totally different continent.

Tonight I visited a lady who was sitting next to her dying mother in a nursing home. Her mother took a horrible medical turn this morning and the doctors have told the daughter she will not make it through the weekend. As we sat there the daughter began to talk about her dad who died in 1986. She shared how he had insisted that she know how to change a tire and the oil on a car before he would teach her how to drive a car. He had taught her how to perform a tune up and rotate the tires. She shared that just recently she had taught her children the same things. Her father probably never imagined that he was about to impact his grandchildren who he would never meet this side of heaven. Yet, impact he did.

You have got to wonder what our actions of today will mean to those who come after us.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Thanks for Doubts!

I had to make an unexpected trip to the OKC airport tonight at 8:00. My parents were coming in from Houston. Dad was supposed to be at MD Anderson through Friday of this week for cancer testing preparing for surgery on his pancreas but the doctors determined today that it was not malignant and that he needed no more testing or the scheduled biopsy (they do want him to come back in six months for a check up). While we rejoiced we could not help but also whisper a prayer of thanksgiving for his, as well as mom's, skeptical attitudes. The doctors here had already determined that he was to have the surgery and it would have probably been taking place this week. An eleven to twelve hour surgery they had predicted, a prediction that he, nor mom, was not too confident about. His lack of confidence led to research and further consultation which led to an intense skepticism about his diagnosis and prognosis. In the end he chose to go to some folks who not only had more experience but also more resources and technology.

As I type this I am thinking of the many times that I had doubts about something but did not pay attention to those feelings. The times that I began to second guess a decision or direction I was taking yet, out of fear of hurting someones feelings or making another person upset, I have remained quiet and not made waves. Most of those times I have later wished I had listened to those doubts.

A couple of weeks ago I fell in love with the character of Gideon as I spent about four weeks preaching through his story as part of my current "Heroes" series. I was impressed with Gideon because I saw so much of myself in him. Not the fact that he led the people to victory militarily but the fact that he was a man of constant doubts and insecurities. The fact that he was constantly asking God for assurance and proof even though at the same time he was still doing as God was leading. The fact that he felt secure enough in his relationship with God to constantly question yet trusted God enough that he was also following even when he was questioning. We even see one point when God gives him a moment of reassurance before Gideon asks. I find Gideon's doubts comforting, the fact that he didn't allow those questions to lead him to paralysis reassuring, and the fact that God was o.k. with all of this inspiring!

Thank goodness questions, doubts, and insecurities are alright where I dwell,
Rick

The Key to Survival

Yesterday was the biggest parenting test Andrea and I have had to face up to this point. We had to go the entire day without the help of family. It was a crazy day from the outset without the factor of no outside family help. Following morning church and lunch we had to get the kids outfitted for all that the day held:

1. Hannah and Grace had their first softball practice at 3:00pm.
2. Isaiah had to be the soccer fields at 3:00pm for his game against the undefeated and dreaded Eagles.
3. Mom and dad had to be at the airport in OKC by 3:00pm for their flight to Houston for a week of testing for dad at MD Anderson. My sister, Beth, would have been the first choice for this but her and Chris headed to Dallas to see The Boss and the E Street Band in performance (she half heatedly, maybe not even that much heart, volunteered to go late and take mom and dad but then she told me that Clarence would be there on Sax and Max on drums, and Stevie on guitar....how could I keep her from all that).
4. Andrea was supposed to be at a baby shower, at 3:00pm, where she was one of the hostesses.
5. Grace and Hannah had to be picked up from practice early, at 4:00pm, along with friend Megan, so all three girls could be jetted to be at soccer fields for game by 4:30pm.
6. We had to be at our house and food ready to receive the K-Life Board and Workers for a 4:30pm meeting with would most likely last a couple of hours or more.
7. Hannah, Lily, and Isaiah had to be at children's' ministry at church building and Caleb and Grace at youth small group at Hughes, all at 5:45pm.
8. Youth mission trip meeting f0r youth and parents at 7:00pm.

As we looked over the schedule on Saturday night we were just overwhelmed to figure out how we could do it all. Our Saturday night prayer was, "God, please help us survive tomorrow!" We did survive, but not without the help of community.

Andrea called DeAnn, a church friend and shower hostess, and informed that she would have to miss shower. DeAnn volunteered to cook and take the food item that Andrea was responsible for. Jake, our youth minister, contacted us and asked what he needed to do. He was then at the house with food and greeting guests who arrived on time since we knew that we would not be. Andrea and I were then able to share the other responsibilities.

It took community......or, as Hillary says, it takes a village. Only in our situation it would be better said, "It takes a village to survive!"

That is what community is, a mechanism for survival. The two keys to community are:
1. Watching where and when you can be a survival assistance to another.
2. Allowing someone else to help you survive.

As we sat there Sunday night, amazed that we had survived, it hit me that Sunday was a perfect example of the message I had preached that morning. We had looked at Ruth and how Naomi and been her community and helped her survive in the past and now Ruth was helping Naomi survive.

How are you contributing to your community, and how are you allowing yourself to be assisted by your community.

The truth is that community is a lot of work!

Community is where I dwell,
Rick

Dialogue

I went to a Unitarian Community Dialogue this past Tuesday. A friend from our kid's school (and sports and about everything else) who is in our PFL (Politics, Faith, and Lunch) book discussion invited me to attend so I accepted the invitation. The topic was "Why We Need Liberal Religion" and was the first in a series offered by the Unitarian Universalist Church. Due to another ministry obligation that same night, I arrived late and missed the first speaker who probably would have been closer to my own theological beliefs. I did get to hear the last quarter of the second speaker who spent most of his time sharing how shocked his mother had been when he told her that he no longer believed in the reality of Hell. Most of the time I was there was spent on questions for the speakers and discussion from the crowd which seem to consist mostly of members of this particular Unitarian Church.

Now, I expected to be somewhat uncomfortable at this event, I knew it was way outside of my own paradigm. I was right about being uncomfortable, however I was wrong about what it was that would be making me uncomfortable. I was aware from the beginning that my own theology would be counter to many there, I also assumed, though, that we had the same goal for things on this earth, respect and peace for all as well as for the earth on which we live. That was all true.

As I sat there, in this small room of probably 20-30 people, it didn't take long for me to identify the source of my discomfort. It had nothing to do with the fact that these people had different foundational beliefs than me at all. I was surprised to find out that my discomfort came about as I realized that it was the same type of discomfort that I feel when I go to Baptist Leadership meetings, or meetings of any conservative group; a discomfort that has caused me to go to very few of these meetings. This meeting consisted of the same factors that I detest so often in the leadership meetings I attend, only with different dialogue.

I think I have identified the common discomfort factors:

1. Both groups discuss the need for unity and dialogue. The need to work together and find a common ground in order to meet needs that are temporal, needs that are locked into our time here on earth. They both express a desire to change this world f0r the betterment of society. With this in mind we get involved in politics and other community opportunities. However, both groups discuss there to be a need for an essential point of agreement prior to any such real discussion. Christians feel that there must be an agreement on many theological issues, this group seemed to feel the same way. There was discussion about how there is a need to bypass the leadership within conservative churches, and the evangelical movement, in order to impact the most likely less than conservative people that sit in the pew. The need to help them rid themselves of their archaic beliefs such a Hell.

2. Both groups seemed to have a need to supply all the answers. In most Christian churches there is a need to receive and a need to provide all the answers. This has led pastors to think they are not only the one stop source for all answers theological, doctrinal, and Biblical, but also in areas of finance, family, politics, and almost anything else that could cause a need for an answer. The group on Tuesday night also had a need to provide all the answers, only there answer was that we have no answers and should not feel the need to have answers. They felt that God is dynamic and always changing, if there is a God and whatever He may be, and therefore there is no way any one person can have the answers for everyone. They have a need to relieve Christians, and most likely people of any firm and exclusive belief, of their beliefs and provide them with the truth of "no beliefs." There are so many levels to this area within the Christian church but I will hold all of that for another discussion.

3. The third common factor was that some people were not heard. My friend brought up a point asking how we could come to a place of dialogue even though we have different beliefs. Another lady expressed a desire to inform people what their faith consisted of without attempting to persuade them to believe the same. And, another person had a question simply asking how educated people can believe the way that conservative leaders act (this was the question that led the speakers to say that there is a need to bypass leadership....there was no consideration that it may be possible to believe differently than those present and still be educated). The thing about these three speakers is that, in my opinion, none of them were heard. These questions, in my opinion, were either ignored or used to stress a point that was not truly in line with the spirit of the question. I see this at many of the meetings I attend aimed at conservative Christian leadership. Someone, a person who questions the status quo, is usually ignored, bypassed, or diverted. Seldom are their thoughts truly considered and contemplated.

While I was surprised to find this meeting so similar to the meetings that I have already ceased attending, I was sad to find that we are so far from the possibility of true dialogue. With both groups feeling that they have to have the other side believe as they do before discussion can begin, I am afraid said discussion may never take place or at least not for a long time.

There has to be the possibility of relating and discussing without having to give up what we truly and sincerely believe. Surely, I can be in relationship with people who believe differently than I do, still desiring the best for them and often even sharing what I believe with them, but all the same striving for a better world. I do believe that it is detrimental to enter into "soul relationships" such as marriage or dating with a person who has a different center (by center I mean that we have the same central belief system....at the center of my wife's life and the center of my life is Jesus Christ which allows us to be operating off of the same foundation) but it would seem that we can still relate to others who do not share that center. It is a place where I think Jesus lived while He was physically here on earth and it is a place that I am sure exists today.

It is a place that I desire to dwell,
Rick

Appreciation

Today was a surprising day for me. It seems that our church had been secretly putting together an eleven year anniversary gift. It was eleven years ago on the first Sunday in March that Grace Fellowship met for the first as an official church family. At the end of that same month I came to serve as the Associate Pastor. That position changed into Co-Pastor years later and then in November of 2006 I was moved into the position of Senior Pastor. Some of those years have been very difficult and others have been a joy. The constant factor throughout these eleven years, however, is this group of people.

As I think about this group of people that are called Grace Fellowship, I have found that they are as close as I can imagine to the type of people that form the type of church that I would not only want to Pastor, but that I would want to be a part of and that I would want my kids to grow up with. They are passionate about their relationship with Christ...not religion, but Christ. They don't know how to act "spiritual" or act "religious" but they are constantly striving to live out the Word. They also are sincere, they are the same people on Sunday that they are during the week. They will question and critique everything, never just blindly accepting, but doing so without a personal agenda only desiring what is right. I could go on, but the jest of what I am trying to say is that these people are the real stuff!

Thank you Grace Fellowship for being my church family, for being an example for my family that I am more than pleased with, and for being faithful and supportive.

Thanks for being a wonderful part of where I dwell,
Rick

Has There Been Any Change?

Today is the 40th anniversary of the killing of Martin Luther King. I can remember seeing it on the news as a seven year old. There, on our little black and white television, I remember the visual of that hotel balcony. I didn't understand it at the time but I knew that it was significant.

It is amazing that as we remember that event, we now live in a nation and world where laws have changed the treatment of certain individuals but I wonder if attitudes have really changed that much. I wonder if we still live in a nation and world where some people are considered to be less than human.

I do know it is a world, or at least a nation, that has made significant effort. I know that my grandparents made an effort to teach their children, my parents, respectful attitudes towards all people. I also know that my parents took this a great step further as they taught my sisters and I to respect others. I hope that my children reveal a great leap of progress in attitudes toward those who, for whatever reason, are different than them. Still, I am not so naive as to think that the attitudes that led to the death of Mr. King are no longer present.

I am not even sure that we realize they exist. My grandmother, as her mind began to slip in her nineties, is a perfect example. Here was a woman who had understood discrimination. She had spent most of her childhood living almost in poverty, when they migrated to Oklahoma they lived for a short time in a cave. Her parents had attempted to farm in New Mexico and then she worked hard with her husband on their farm in Stillwater. She often told me of the attitude of the city people toward the farm people. She always felt that they were considered to be trash. She understood what it meant to be discriminated against, and she tried hard not to have those same attitudes toward others, but still they were there. It especially came to light one evening as an male Afro American nursing home worker woke her to give her medicine. Upon seeing this black skin she automatically began yelling that he was trying to rape her. In her right mind this behavior would have horrified and shamed her, but now, from somewhere deep inside, it revealed itself. If our progress is only in our laws, but not in our minds and in our consciousness, has there really been progress?

I have often thought it hypocritical that we look with such disdain at the faith community that existed in and around Germany during WWII. It is common to hear us question how the church could have sat by and remained silent during the Holocaust. We seldom, however, stand with the same attitude toward the church of our own country when we look back at slavery and even the discrimination of the past century, and even today. When we do address the issue, it is often in a condescending and arrogant manner almost excusing the past (and the present).

I do recognize that our country did attempt to settle the issue of slavery among ourselves. It did not take an outside force to make us abolish slavery, we fought it out, brother against brother. However, there was still half our nation that fought for slavery, and that half had a strong faith community.

When I look at the faith of our nation, especially our Christian faith, I can understand the attitudes of someone like Pastor Jeremiah Wright. Here we had a people (during slavery times) who had adopted a faith but were still treated as less than human by those who shared that faith. I can understand how a faith that taught humanity and love could cause some to wonder how the community of that faith would live in such an inhumane fashion.

I wonder how we could, and how we can, live and believe, no matter how deep and hidden that belief is, in such a way that is so opposite of truth. So greatly in opposition to the true grace and love of Jesus Christ. How we can, or ever could, quote John 3:16 but then justify the mistreatment of anyone and fail to stand in opposition to that mistreatment.

Here I dwell,
Rick

Growing Pains

This Christmas my parents gave Andrea and I a year's membership at a health club near our house. This was not a gentle hint that I needed to get into shape (even though I do) but they had heard us say that we wanted to start getting in better shape. This had been said because Andrea has decided that I need to be alive to help with grandkids.

Due to all kinds of good excuses, including Andrea's hand surgery, we just finally joined the club on Monday of this week. Quite honestly I still have many good excuses to procrastinate even longer but Andrea seemed determined as she said "Come on let's go!"

As we signed up on Monday we also payed for three sessions with the guy who owns the club, a former Mr. USA. Today was our first training session, we worked legs. Therefore, my legs are no longer working. Following the leg workout I found the most simple of tasks, such as getting out of the car or walking across the parking lot, to be excruciating. While the workout was a killer, the adjustment following the workout has been far worse.

Tonight I took Caleb and Grace, my two middle schoolers, to the club to take them through the elements of this first session. Grace did a great deal of giggling, I don't think that she is very sore tonight. Caleb pushed quite a bit harder, he was hobbling before we even left the building. I have a feeling that all four of us will have a tough time getting out of bed in the morning. I can only hope that we don't have an emergency overnight, such as a fire, because I am unsure how fast I could get out of bed!

Growth is always that way though, it causes some pain. What is also true, however, is that the adjustment following the growth is just as bad or worse. If you want proof of this just look at the too short pants currently being worn by Isaiah, my seven year old. He has felt the pains of his body growing, but the pain of ankle high pants is no better.

The same is true in our faith walk. I have found many people that, as they begin to grow in and understand their faith, have a hard time letting go of the faith practices and religion of their past. They want to continue certain patterns or rituals that were associate with faith even though they begin to see the disconnection of those practices with their growing faith. The faith growth was tough but the adjustment to the growth is even worse. Growing in an understanding of the grace of Jesus Christ is painful but allowing yourself to then live in the freedom of that grace can be excruciating.

But, painful or not, it is where I want to dwell.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Cool

Tonight we attended the Norman All City Orchestra concert. The concert involves all the Norman public school orchestras starting with the fifth graders all the way through the High School orchestras. Each orchestra plays in their age divisions then all the age groups combine at the end with a special version of "Oklahoma".

Hannah, my fifth grader, was in the concert playing the violin. When she began with orchestra in the fall she had decided that she wanted to play the cello. That was until her dad, tightwad that he is, discovered that it was going to cost $75 a month to rent the cello. We have a violin at home, it belonged to Andrea when she was young, and Grace played it last year as part of her one year orchestra tenure. So, Hannah played the violin this year.

I actually enjoyed the concert, just as I enjoyed it last year. First of all, the administration does a very good job at keeping the concert timely. Second, they do a very good job of putting it all together. The kids all present something that they can be proud of.

There are two things that always stand out to me about orchestra performances. The first is how each element is so important. The bass could certainly not carry the entire concert but without the bass the music would be missing something indeed. The violins may present the main thrust of the music, but they would be hollow without the bass. All the elements are important and none of the elements are of primary importance. This is just like life, we are all important!

The other thing is how cool the orchestra participants were. Now I don't remember, when I was in high school, that my friends that played in orchestra were particularly cool. Not that they were not cool, but the fact that they were in orchestra did not seem to be a cool determinant. However, as I watched them tonight, each knowing just what to do and willing to do their part. Each of them willing to permit the others to do their parts that accompanied the whole of the orchestra. They were just cool.

It made be start thinking about what makes a person cool. Is it that they are doing what the world expects, or is it because they are doing their part? Are they cool by the standards of the world or because they are doing what they enjoy and understand?

Maybe we can all be cool!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

The Thrill of Victory

My daughters', Hannah and Grace, soccer team won this weekend. Not only did they win, but they won on Saturday and on Sunday. And, not only did they win two games but both games were shut-outs. While this may not be that big of a deal to you, it is major to us. This team started playing together last August and up til this weekend they had never won, and they had only scored one point! Two wins is big stuff!

Their team is a lesson in perseverance. The team started out as the "B" team in the competitive league for sixth grade girls. "B" team means that it is the girls who did not make the "A" team. The problem was there were not enough girls to make a team so they allowed some fifth grade girls to play up. In order to help her sister be able to play, fifth grade Hannah decided to play on the team even though she had not planned on playing soccer this year. This team of fifth and sixth graders was playing against teams of all sixth graders. The entire semester they only scored one point (in a game where they still lost 9 to 1).

As play resumed, after the second semester began, a few of the girls gave into their frustration and decided to quit. The team soon did not have enough players and was facing dissolution. Most of the players that were left decided to stick together and switch from the competitive league to the recreational league. Now, these girls who have stuck it out finally tasted of victory.

What is especially surprising in this whole experience is the lack of excitement that my daughters have expressed. I think that the parents were much more enthusiastic at the first win than any of the players. What is even more surprising is that there seemed to be a extreme lack of enthusiasm by our second weekend victory.

Could it be that we are so hardened to winning that by our second victory we had already lost the memory of the sting of defeat? Whereas only a short couple of weeks ago the idea that we would ever leave the fields with, not only points on the board, but an actual victory was a pipe dream. Now, winning is just something else we do.

How quick we forget. How quick we fail to appreciate.

I am afraid that is all to often true of so many things with me where I live and dwell. The goal is to appreciate all the moments...here, where I dwell.

Rick

Poop Water

Today I had to take a water sample to the city lab for our quarterly testing. The Department of Environmental Quality has required this of our church property for the past couple of years. Once a quarter I have to take a small sample to the city for testing and then once a year I have to mail in a large sample to the state DEQ lab. It is a pain but at least we have water each Sunday.

This has not always been the case. We assumed this building and property on the edge of Norman from a disbanded church who had assumed it from another disbanded church two years prior. We have now been here since October of 1999 (we had met in a ballet studio before that since our inception in March of 1997). The first church that met in our building and who built the building had drilled a shallow well but after some time had chosen to join a water coop. The coop consisted of about twenty residences and our church building and property.

When we moved into the building we just accepted the coop and assumed that everything would be fine. Periodically the water would be off because of problems but seldom would the disruption last very long. It never seemed to happen on Sunday.

But it did eventually happen on a Sunday and lasted for weeks. We eventually found out that one coop member had made another member mad. The problem was the member that got mad was also the member who had the well on her property so she just turned the well power off. So we had no water.

The courts finally had to get involved. Then the Department of Environmental Quality got involved, then the city, and we soon discovered that not only was our well coop not totally legal but that the water itself had a higher than acceptable level of arsenic. So we decided to check into restarting our own well.

So, we now have water, no matter how mad any of the coop members get at each other. The problem is that our well is fairly shallow and.....stinky. When it runs for too long it begins to have a distinct smell of sulphur. It is filtered and treated and consistently proven to be more than safe to drink, but it stinks.

I had not really paid much attention to this smelly fact until a recent children's Friday night activity. I heard some of the children daring each other to drink the "poop water". As I began to investigate what they were talking about I found out that children have long called the drinking fountain water "poop water". Note: We always keep plenty of bottled water in the fridge.

Now, smelly or not, I am just glad to have water. When we were without water I had to go and fill up large containers to bring to the church just to flush the toilets. Most of the time I would have to drive some distance to go to the restroom when I was out there during the week. Having water is much more appreciated when you have gone without.

The reason I mention all of this is that March 22 was World Water Day (http://www.worldwaterday.org/). There are people who work all day just to have water to survive. I cannot appreciate the gravity of this. I barely have an appreciation for the fact that I have water.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Rumors of War

My two middle schoolers stayed home from school today. They are not sick but this world is. Two weeks ago our middle school sent home a note saying that a threat had been made but determined to be a hoax. We assumed that was the end of it. This week however the kids came home telling us that there was a policeman at the school all day walking the halls. We thought this was odd but since we trusted we would be notified, we just assumed everything was o.k. Then, yesterday the kids began talking about a hit list that had been found. We have worked with kids enough that we understand the reality of rumor mills so even this didn't not get our full attention. Then, last night, we began to hear enough that we started making phone calls. Through that we discovered that the list was quite possibly a reality and that we knew of at least one child on the list. We called the most reliable parent we know who confirmed what we have heard. She had just gotten off the phone with the parent of the listed child.

My children were very concerned. The rumor was that there was supposed to be action, including a bomb, today in the school. We had other parents call us as the night progressed. Attempting to stay cool and not make a big deal of the situation we could not help but be a little concerned as our other children began asking if their siblings could stay home. We went to bed telling our kids the choice would be theirs.

This morning, still wanting to know the truth, we called the school. Apparently most of the other middle school parents were calling as the phone could be heard ringing off the wall in the office. We spoke with the receptionist, who we respect, who told us that there was no such list and that we could not allow these prankster kids to have this type of control. We then got a call from another parent who had just called the office and spoke with someone else who said the list did indeed exist. What do you believe?!

Our kids are home today. I told them that I doubt anything would happen and that it was probably 99% assuredly a hoax, but still our kids are home today. We don't feel good about the situation but do feel comforted. Our kids are home today.

My question is, "When do we stop?" Are we going to respond this way every time this happens? Is it our responsibility to stand up while placing our kids in possible danger? Is it the school's responsibility to protect at all costs...or at least adequately inform? Have they adequately informed and we just listened to too many rumors?

The questions never end and the answers seldom appear.

I do know this, all of this is no surprise. We live in a world that is evil and will be increasingly so. I know that this is not the politically correct attitude but it is true. I can look at the world environment that I grew up in and the environment today and see that evil has increased. My kids will never the be availed the freedom to come and go that I had. I will hardly allow them in the front yard without supervision.

The one thing that I can do, however, is never lose hope. Christ said, "You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end." Matthew 24:6.

Even in a world of evil. Even in a world that threatens my family. Even in a world of constant rumors and questions I can still dwell in peace and hope.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Finger Tapping

Today I went with Lily, my third grader's, class on a field trip to the Oklahoma City Philharmonic Orchestra. As it was meant to be a musical educational experience for the kids they spent a great deal of time explaining the different sections of instruments and other orchestral details. After introducing all the elements of the brass section the conductor explained that the brass section was going to debut a piece that had been written by the second chair trombone.

I know trombones, I played one until eighth grade. I can prove it because in the yearbook that year Gary Booker wrote, "You are the worst trombone player in the world." Gary was a very discerning young man. I now understand that carrying your trombone home on the back of your ten speed bike each day but not ever practicing only makes you look like a dork but does not place you anywhere near the first chair. It does, in fact, give you a great education regarding the placement of the last chair.

Anyway, today there were only three chairs in the trombone section (I have a feeling that all three of them never had Gary Booker comment on their trombone ability in their eighth grade year book). So, since there were only three, I was able to figure out which one was the second chair. During the debut of this special I was focused on the second trombone player. I wanted to see how he would act at hearing his musical masterpiece played.

I assumed it would be something like Mr. Holland when he heard the surprise presentation of his opus as it was introduced by the one time student and now governor. I assumed that there would be a look of shock and then a wide grin with a tear edging down one cheek. I was sure that his long suffering wife would be holding on to him on one side and his tone deaf son on the other. None of that was true. He was actually sitting somewhat slumped back in his chair with a look of total disregard. But then, a few measures into the song (see, I know about measures, take that Gary Booker), I noticed that he was tapping his fingers on the inside of his leg. He was almost directing the entire debut with this one finger. Even as he played the finger kept the rhythm. He was totally engaged in a way that did not reveal itself during the other songs, even the songs written by musical legends.

He could not help but be totally involved in the song. How could he, it was his, he was totally invested!

As I sat there watching him look painfully disinterested it was obvious that he was the most engaged person on the stage. His tapping finger was giving him away.

When my oldest son began pre-K, I was determined to be an involved parent. I attended the PTA meetings, me and all the moms, and soon was placed on the board. One thing that continually that came up was the desire for more dads to be active. I repeatedly told them that the dads needed something to invest them, something to do. We soon began a dads' program which was immediately successful. The dads could not wait for the opportunity to be on campus with their kids, but they needed there to be a reason. They needed to be a part of what was going on not just be present. Now, everyday we have at least one dad, or grandad, on campus interacting with the kids.

When anyone is a part they will be engaged. If people are in on the planning they will be supportive. This is true of PTAs, this is true of the orchestra, and this is true of church. People need to be a part. It does not always have to be a key role, but somehow they have to have ownership.

So, this means that we have to seek ways to be involved and we have to find an avenue to involve others. People may enjoy watching and being entertained for awhile, but eventually there will be a desire for more. There will be a desire to dwell there instead of just watching others dwelling.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Happy Birthday

Today is my third child's, Hannah, eleventh birthday. Happy birthday Hannah!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

10,000 B.C.

Today ,my oldest son, 13 year old Caleb, convinced me to go see 10,000 B.C. with him. I had never heard of this movie before he dragged me to the theater, I wanted to see Horton Hears A Who with the others (a person is a person no matter how small!), but I gave in to his pleadings. I have to admit, the movie kept my attention.

I also have to admit that I learned a few things. First of all, I was amazed to learn what great dental conditions existed at this early stages of human history! Each of the characters in the story, while looking very unbathed and very stinky, they all had straight and very white teeth with no unseemly gaps or chips. I think I always imagined, with the fighting of the woolly mammoths and the quest for fire, that there would at least be a chipped tooth or two!

The second thing I learned is that people cared for each other and their families even then.

Now, I know that this was all pure speculation. I sincerely doubt that they found a missing diary from 10,000 B.C. stuffed away in a nightstand drawer somewhere. But, somehow the writers knew that family and relationships were important, even then.

The truth is, of course, that we have little knowledge about what really went on, or even if humans were going on at all at this time....some would even argue that there was not even a 10,000 B.C. We don't know. And, even if we look at scripture for a guide as to the state of family and relationships early on, they looked pretty dismal (whatever the date was). Families didn't seem all that loyal or devoted to each other, often willing to sell out one another for a pot of stew.

I think a better truth is that God has brought us to a place where we now understand and value family and relationships. So, no matter what was happening in 10,000 B.C., the writers and those who imagine these things cannot help but project this same value on that time period. We cannot imagine a time when family and relationship were not paramount.

Just as with good dental care, family and relationships are of utmost importance now and possibly were then. May that never change!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Facing Mortality

The doctors have discovered a lesion on my father's pancreas. This was actually discovered some time ago at which time he told my sisters and I that it was benign and that there was no need to worry. Last week I found that there was a little more to it and further action will have to be taken. The benign lesion has grown and may indeed be discovered to a bigger problem than he first let on (my mother is very adamant that she has remained silent and not been a party to any lies or half truths my dad may or may not have been guilty of telling us over the past months). He has now been on the phone with doctors, sending medical records to MD Anderson in Houston, and getting referrals and advise from folks at Sloan-Kettering in New York. Whereas last week at this time there was no mention of the subject, it was a non-issue, it now comes up every time we are together.

I deal with death and illness quite frequently in my work. I have found that I am able to distance myself from it in most cases. Even when it is family I have found great comfort in knowing that death is not an ending point for those who are believers and followers of Christ but only the beginning.

I have often wondered if my attitude toward death is too casual. If it is possible that I have become hardened instead of being at peace. I wonder if facing mortality a little closer to home will eventually test that confidence.

A couple of years ago I held my dying grandmother's hand late one evening and told her that it was o.k. for her to go ahead and go. She had seemed to be holding on to life while in such pain with so little hope here on earth. I truly felt that to help her let go would be the most loving thing that could be done for her. As I held her hand, I told her all the things she had done in her life and all the lives she had impacted and improved. I then began to go over all the people and situations that I had felt were holding her here. I especially addressed my three youngest cousins whose father, my grandmother's youngest son Chuck, had passed away a couple of years earlier while only in his fifties (she had lost her other son Jimmy in his forties). I had always felt that she had taken on a personal responsibility for these three boys even though they were adults. So, I sat with this 91 year old lady, that was barely in the mental present, and I gave an account of each of the boys. "Nathan got a new job," I told her,"and is no longer at the funeral home. Rob and his wife are buying a new home and Ryan and his wife are expecting a baby. They are all doing fine."

As I said all of this I could almost swear that she squeezed my hand and looked at me in an attempt to say "You are right."

The next morning I got a call from my sister Beth that I needed to get to the nursing home there was not much time. I was used to getting these calls, they came every couple of days. I began to wrap stuff up at the office so I could head to the nursing home. On the way I got a call that she had passed away.

It was o.k. She was with grandad, her sons Jimmy and Chuck, her parents, and scores of loved ones. She was no longer in pain, no longer in a body that was suffering, no longer bound by the bonds of this earth. She was and is free.

That was comforting to me.

A couple of weeks ago I sat by my uncle's side as he looked at me and painfully asked "Is there any hope?" We discussed his hope and a few days later he passed on. He is also now free of the pains of this earth.

That is comforting to me.

Regarding my dad, the truth is that it is not time for him to go. Things are not at a point here on earth where we can make it without him. What will my kids do, what will I do?

Where is my comfort?

Death is a truth of this physical life. It leaves us here on earth without those we dearly love and treasure. It is unfair and is unjust. It does not make sense. It is not right.

However, the sting of death is only temporal for those whose hope is in the Lord. Death holds no sway on the eternity of those who trust in Christ.

Death is part of where we all dwell, it is part of where I dwell,
so, Here I Dwell,
Rick

Still Family

It is spring break this week which, at the Anthony household, has meant doing all the projects Andrea has been dreaming up all year. For me it has meant almost crashing in the ceiling and also discovering that my tape measure comes up with very different results than the measuring system at Lowes.

During the many trips to Lowes, I am becoming fast friends with the people that run the return desk, I have kept up with news through NPR on the radio. I have especially found the latest news on Barak and his outspoken pastor interesting.

Barak said that his pastor was like the relative that says things you wish they would not say but that you do not kick them out of the family for their statements. I understand this, I have those relatives. Relatives who are not concerned about using the "N" word around my children or those who feel it is appropriate to say that an "influx of Mexicans is reason enough to move out of a neighborhood". While these ill spoken relatives are not in my immediate family I still have to spend a great amount of time debriefing my kids following any visit to or from these individuals. One time I said to Andrea following a visit that we would no longer visit one of these relatives, that lasted only a few weeks...until they became ill and obviously near death.

The truth is that just like Barak, I wish they wouldn't say those things but still they are family.

Some say that Barak surely knew about the statements of his beloved friend and pastor. I am sure he was aware that this was at least a possibility. But, he is still family.

Politicians in recent years have immediately thrown out anyone who could become a political liability. If they have not done this they have defended those who have offended, to the death (remember the picture of most of the Democratic legislators standing with Clinton on the White House lawn at the beginning of the impeachment procedures anyone?). Barak did neither of these. He stated that the comments and beliefs of his friend were wrong but he also stated this his friend is still a friend.

He also said one other thing that caught my ear. He stated that this pastor had, among other things, introduced him to Jesus. The same Jesus that I serve is the same Jesus that he met thanks to this pastor. That is the same Jesus that came and died for my eternity and made very obvious His distaste for the injustice that exists here on earth. I have to admit, that it is the same Jesus that would condemn the injustices that are still present on this earth and in our country. This is the same Jesus that Barak's pastor spoke about.

Later I heard a lady say that white people would understand the words of this pastor if they were acquainted with the traditions of the Black church. She said most Black people are familiar with the White church but that is seldom the other way around. That may be one of our biggest problems. We spend so much time in our own world that we don't have any point of reference to understand the world around us. The world that has many people who also love and serve our Jesus.

In the same world where I Dwell,
Rick

The Singles Table

Today is my second child, Grace's, 12th birthday. Happy birthday Gracie!

Last night when I stopped by to see aunt Gerry at the nursing home I happened to arrive at dinner time. When I went into the dining room I noticed that she was sitting at a different table than usual.

"This is the table for the singles," she informed me.

As far as I know most, if not all, of the residents are single so I am sure that it was not really the "singles" table. This is, however, most likely very telling regarding how odd it must feel for her to be alone. I know as long as I can remember it was "Jim and Gerry", it was almost one word. Now, since her husband Jim passed away a few weeks ago, it is just "Gerry." It just sounds odd, I can only imagine how it must feel.

Change is tough, having that change be the loss of a loved one is traumatic.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Taxes and Baptism

I have two goals today in addition to my regular Thursday stuff and in addition to getting to the school by 2:00pm to see my kid's "Lights, Camera, Action" production (Isaiah is playing a Rooster complete with beak and a rooster appropriate speaking part) and then shuttling all five kids everywhere for sports, museum club, small groups, and possibly even Social Studies extra credit (Andrea has afternoon clients which seems very convenient).

My goals are to get our taxes organized so I can get them to our accountant Ted and to prepare the baptistry out here at the church.

I am not too excited about doing either one of them which is strange because both will ultimately be very rewarding.

We are most assuredly receiving a tax refund this year which is something we could desperately use. You would think I would be jumping at getting the process going but I am not. Andrea has had the basket of all pertinent information and documents ready for me since the end of January yet still I have not even begun. Today is the day!

The Baptistry is also something I should be excited about preparing. Last year we wrote our bylaws and ended up taking a very serious look at some issues and how we approached them. Baptism was one of those issues. We ended up making some pretty drastic changes. In regard to baptism we moved it to a true act of obedience and proclamation. We made baptism something that was an individuals choice and desire due to their new found relationship with Jesus Christ. While we had always said that this was the objective of baptism, the truth was that as long as we had it tied to church membership it always had the appearance of being a "step" to achieve something. Instead, we have made it an evidence of something achieved.....relationship with God through Christ. We are baptizing two adults this Sunday and I am truly excited about the testimony of this event.

While I am excited about my tax refund and about our baptisms, I still sit here dreading having to do the work. That is just like me, and possibly you, I always want the positive but the work that it takes to get there is not so exciting or desirable.

Oh well,

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Compassion

My middle daughter, ten year old Hannah, won the student council president election at her school yesterday. I would have not found out if I had not remembered to ask about it later after school. While I know she was