A Full Day

Yesterday I had to preach in a drug store pair of reading glasses. My glasses had to go to California to be fixed in order to keep them from jumping off of my face. I think that this was just a ploy for them to go to Hollywood and see movie stars but that is just speculation. Anyway, the drug store glasses are only for reading and not tri-focal like my real glasses. The reading glasses mean that I can see to read but cannot see far without falling over or throwing up. I thought through the entire situation on Saturday night as I prepared for the next morning, I blew up my message outline to a size 20 font and then placed the two large print pages visibly on the stage table Sunday morning. The only hitch was that at the last minute I added a scripture which meant I had to put my glasses on twice during the message. While preaching it hit me that I could leave the glasses on between scripture readings and just tilt them up.

Evidently, the tilting up did not look too good. I was made aware of this fact as we sat at Sunday lunch and my extreme goofy look quickly became the topic of discussion. I think my mother even joined in on the conversation in agreement…I know my own wife did not even attempt to come to my defense. Apparently, Grace, my eighth grade daughter had spent a great deal of the sermon attempting to get my attention to “dedork” my classes. My seventh grade daughter Hannah had joined in and then most of our youth girls had also tried to rescue me for dorkland. Andrea and ninth grade son Caleb did not join in the frantic hand motions during the sermon but did confess to unsuccessfully holding back laughter. Lily and Isaiah shared that they were glad that they were in children’s’ class during the message so they did not have to witness the horror that took place in worship.

I actually had fun sitting and laughing at myself with my family. I have had lots of practice; I have given them plenty of reason to laugh.

That evening I was headed to Pei Wei for Andrea and my Sunday night stay at home date when a Captain Kangaroo lookalike in a red convertible Mazda impatiently passed me as soon as he could. Although I was not excessively speeding I am sure that I was going the speed limit or a little higher but I found that I was not going fast enough for the Captain. As I caught up to him he waved his fist at me, an act that I did not remember ever seeing outside of black and white movies.

“I could have made this light,” he shouted.

“Yeah,” I responded in a pastorally mature voice, “I’m sure that it was really important to get wherever you are going.”

I sat there, still being the mature pastor, unable to let it go, “I have five kids,” I said as I turned to him, “they go up and down this street frequently.”

I was both proud that I thought to use the kids yet underwhelmed that I did so in such a minimalistic fashion. I waited for his equally mature response but he had none. I saw him consider what I said and then say nothing. I wanted to revel in triumph but I could not get over the fact that he said nothing. We had plenty of time as we waited for the light to change and he said nothing.

When I got home I wanted to make fun of him as I told Andrea but I had a tough time getting over the fact that he said nothing.

As I ended the day I was happy that I had laughed with my kids and glad that I had seen the example of the Captain. It was a full day!

Here I Dwell,
Rick