Lessons from Pajama Days

When Caleb was in sixth grade, his first delicate year of middle school, his mother, my wife, insisted that he take part in his middle school spirit week. He begrudgingly agreed and trusted her to dictate to him the daily spirit week attire. That was the last week that Caleb participated in spirit week, it may have also been the last time Caleb trusted his mother to dictate anything to him. The week included crazy sock day, purple pride day, and pajama day, that was the day that caused the problem. It was while fully dressed in his pajamas that Andrea drove him up in the oval for drop-off that he, and his spirited mother, noticed that most everyone seemed to be dressed in purple and almost no one, except Caleb, was dressed in their pajamas. Caleb, being the trooper that he is, stayed at school even as a repentant mother offered to run him home to change to purple. He survived a day in his completely non-purple pajamas on purple pride, and not pajama, day.

Today was my unintentional pajama day. Last Friday Caleb was scheduled to participate in a jr. high tennis tournament in Edmond but with the approaching ice and snow storm the event was moved to Monday. Yesterday we received a quick phone call giving us instructions regarding the tournament scheduled for today which included the transportation details. So, this morning the alarm went off at 6:00am and I went to wake Caleb to get ready so we could meet his ride at 7:00am. I then returned to bed for what I assumed would be an additional forty minutes of sleep. I had forgotten the extremely strong "be there early" gene which is passed down from Papa Bob. I was awakened at 6:25am with instructions that it was time to go. I slowly rolled out of bed and pulled my coat over my sleeping clothes (that is what an almost 49 year old man calls his pajamas....especially when they consist of a torn up, and holey, old long sleeve t-shirt and too short and weird pants). I assumed that I would soon be back home to bathe and dress (I had squeezed in tooth brushing thankfully), I assumed wrong. We arrived at the tennis court at least 15 minutes early thanks to Papa and his strong genes. We sat in the parking lot all alone for fifteen minutes wondering if anyone else would show up. At 7:00am Caleb's doubles partner showed up but no one else. Finally at 7:20am we reached someone on the phone who we thought would know something but found that he actually knew nothing, including what had happened to the ride. So, at 7:20am I put the car in drive and headed for a forty minute plus drive attempting to get there by 8:00am. We stopped by grandma's house for her GPS, since I had no idea where I was going, then darted north soon hitting a major accident backup on the highway and finally arriving at the tournament where it was obvious that I would not be able to escape back home. What made things even better was that Caleb and his partner had a win which prolonged my pajama day. It got hot and I was in a heavy coat, a coat that could not come off due to a manly sleeping shirt being what was beneath the jacket. I survived my pajama day with hopes that it will be my last.

I learned a couple of things thanks to pajama day:
1. Always brush your teeth and put on your shoes when you leave the house. I actually did this today but there are days that I drop off the kids ...at least without shoes.
2. Put on a public approved shirt before going anywhere, unless you want to look "scary tough" or at least "scary".....or are willing to stay in a heavy coat in Oklahoma spring temperatures.
3. Take something to do while you are not at home taking a shower and dressing. I did learn that Oklahoma has the top five worst hunger rate, a top divorce rate, and that Julia Sweeney had a revelation from God that helped her survive a messy breakup leading her to a renewal of faith and then she read the Bible and was disillusioned by the answers her priest gave her about the parts of the Bible she didn't like and then she read Deepak Chopra who led her to science and so she is now an atheist who explains her revelation from God as a mere work of her frontal globes thanks to her new found knowledge of science.....oh, I also learned that Barak made the CEO of GMC resign and told the folks at Chrysler they had to make a deal with Fiat.
4. Always make the transportation plans for your kids yourself.

Here I Dwell, showered and dressed,
Rick

Celebration Lesson

Tomorrow we are having our twelve year anniversary celebration of Grace Fellowship. The church first officially met on the first Sunday of March 1997, but it was the last Sunday of that month that Andrea and I joined the church as Associate Pastor. It has been an amazing ride which I would not trade for the world. Our third child had just been born less than two weeks before that Sunday; tomorrow we will celebrate with a total of five children, two of which are teens. (talk about a ride!). I also made the transition to Senior Pastor November of 2006 which is a position I never expected or desired. I think that is one of the the greatest lessons I have learned from being a part of Grace Fellowship. God brings the most unexpected things into our lives at the times we are most ready for them to be a normal reality of our lives.

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Happy Birthday

Today Andrea and I become parents of two teenagers, we are very afraid! Happy Birthday Gracie!!

Here I Dwell,
Rick

Finished Missing Out

I heard from a Willem “Bart” Ebbink this week, he is an old friend from High School. Willem was one of the jewels in the drama group at our high school, always playing the funny and inevitably scene stealing roles in all the productions. I was the hack in the speech and drama that ended up there because it looked like they were having fun. The pros like Bart were very patient and kind to the folks like me who appeared to have made a wrong turn on the way to Remedial Math. As I heard from Bart he told me that he is now living in Amsterdam, still involved in drama and managing a bistro, and spends his free time on the canals of the historic parts of his city enjoying the laid back life. As we emailed back and forth he reminded me that his parents were from that region of the world and that he had made a decision to reestablish his dual citizenship after living in New York and England.

I immediately was struck with the realization that I do not think I ever knew that I was in High School with a cool international. Actually, it hit me that all I ever knew was that we called him Bart, I never knew that I had a friend with such an exotic name as “Willem”. It also reminded me of an incident ten years ago that involved my 21^st class reunion. My high school reunions always seem to be at the ten plus one year mark. This may explain my own tendency to procrastinate….I really have no right to say anything since I have not lifted a finger to help with any of the three reunions since my high school days. Thanks to Cheryl and Wally and their teams that are putting together our 31^st reunion planned for this summer. Anyway, after that 21^st reunion, which I failed to attend, the planners sent out a class directory detailing everything going on with my classmates. I immediately glanced through it to find out the scoop on my old buddies from high school. One such friend was a young lady that was in my “group”. We, including this girl, were all pretty much connected at the hip from seventh grade through high school, yet in her bio in the directory she talked about meeting her future husband while in high school. She talked about how she had known they were meant to be from the moment she met him her junior year and that the two had dated throughout high school. I was surprised since I had thought I knew this person very well. I was shocked to find out that I had missed so much about someone I assumed I knew.

In looking back at this it hit me that I have missed a lot in life, largely due to a life lived with a limited focus. This took me to think of Christ who lived a life with no limits on his focus. He didn’t miss out on a little man watching him from atop a tree or a needy woman touching him in the midst of a crowd. He didn’t miss strong friendships nor did he withdraw due to the reality of enemies. He didn’t limit where he traveled because of cultural prejudices nor did he restrict who he related to due to unspoken, or spoken, taboos. His entire goal of becoming human was to experience the entirety of the human experience. As He experienced the cross He did so with a full understanding and appreciation of the human experience.

I look at my own life and can quickly identify many things that I have missed. I missed out on history from my grandmother, a history spanning two different centuries, a history that defined my ancestry. I lived in Colorado for six years and daily would stare at the beauty of the mountains yet seldom climbed up to the top. I spent little time dancing and celebrating and now have a lack of appreciation for either. I missed much because I was either focused mostly on myself or because I had placed unneeded and unnecessary restrictions and boundaries on myself.

A couple of weeks ago the doctor gave me an intense steroid shot for tennis elbow. He said that I might experience “minor discomfort” later in the day. For the next two days I was hoping that I would find someone who would just shoot me and put me out of my misery. While my wife was experiencing what it was like to be married to a big baby I suddenly understood what a lady in our church was going through who had to have steroid shots in her back and neck. Experience often permits us to understand and empathize with others, much in the way Christ did and does because of His earthly and subsequently painful experience.

I don’t want to miss out anymore. I want to know when I have a friend in Amsterdam and when my good friend is in love. I want to understand.

Today, at 3:30pm I have a massage appointment. I did not make the appointment; my wife did after getting a coupon in the mail for a new place that only does massages. I told her that I have seen these types of places on the crime shows on television and that I am not really big on strangers touching my body. She told me that I am going to have this experience. I am going to do it because I am finished missing out.

I also hate camping, I have spoken of this many times. I hate sleeping in the dirt, I hate being so far from a shower, I hate being uncomfortable. In two weeks I am taking my boys on an overnight camping trip with the men of our church. I couldn’t be dreading anything more but I don’t want my boys to miss it. I don’t want to miss out on it.

Eventually I am going to learn to dance and celebrate. I want to enjoy my kids’ weddings and not embarrass my daughters. I don’t want to miss out.

Here I Dwell,
Rick